A Choice

[patpat]

Even though it is early for me, I can't help but feel that when I went Dark, my W went double Dark. It feels so damm bad...

[chatterbug]

How about you read into the fact she is having an affair. Not that she is sick.

Do any goals?

I believe in exposure. But quiet a few do not on here.

Family, close friends who can lean on her.

[patpat]

Hey Cutter

W is sick. She is in poor health long before we started having problems. That is what I mean. I just think the added stress of this mess (if she is actually feeling any) has prob added to previous health problems.

As for the A; makes me feel like she deserves everything she gets...

Eventually (if she does return and we are able to work things out), her health will still be an issue.

Even though she is in an A, I still worry about her health....

I agree, I believe in exposure also... working on this one.

[Coach]

Who are you going to expose the affair to? Her and your parents and both families know plus she is going out in public with the OM. Who else needs to know?

You need to state a boundary - everybody seems OK with your wife having a affair.

[sandi2]

What kind of health problems does your W have?

[patpat]

Hey Coach...

Who? Anyone she knows that will put pressure on her to re think what she is doing...

I have found out that her family did not know ahe was taking OM to neieces b-day party. Her family very upset and have told her so. They all have told her thatb she is a married woman and needs to go home to work on prob.'s.

My W has completely cut herself off from most everyone for now. All the good people in her life. She seemingly only hangs with a few people now and I am sure this will get old soon enough.

I said "working on this one" but ur right... who else? Prob. no one, but if there is, then that one would be it. ???

[patpat]

Hey S2

W turned 40 not long ago, started to seem depressed.

W was very heavy when we married. Had gastric by pass and lost weight really fast. Had prob's w/ back and hips since. Has had several back surgeries etc... Sometimes, does not get around well.

W has also been getting checked for cancer' when she left, it was just before her 1st appt. She has not told me how that went, I have asked several times.

She looks lke she has aged 10 years in past few weeks, and loosing weight.

Not sure it the cancer watch is actually something at this point.

Beyond this just the usual crap. Ulcers, cramps, headaches and the like. Always seems like there is something going on here.

[patpat]

hey all....

Do WAW really ever want to come back???? Mine is not hiding her A from anyone really... maybe a little....

And can someone explain to what exactly the "Fog" is?

Will my W's crash and want to return?

She just seems so distance and living it up...

Dark 1 week but wondering if I should just tell her again exactly how I feel.

[TrentC]

Do WAW really ever want to come back???? Mine is not hiding her A from anyone really... maybe a little....

We have a couple of WAW's who post on here. And yes, they do sometimes want to come back.

And can someone explain to what exactly the "Fog" is?

It's the rush of "new love" feelings they get from forming those connections with the other person.

Dark 1 week but wondering if I should just tell her again exactly how I feel.

Did telling her how you feel work the last time? No? Then don't do it again. She knows.

[P17]

Dark 1 week but wondering if I should just tell her again exactly how I feel.

First time on your thread.

If you go dark, stay dark. Don't break it.

You mentioned if you should tell her AGAIN exactly how you feel? How many times does she need to be told? Once surely is enough. She's a big girl and doesn't need to be told things over and over and over again. If she doesn't get it after that then ... that's her problem.