Coach, it seems so easy to do, but I am really struggling right now. I'm trying to focus, I really am, but these..thoughts, keep entering my mind and my rest. I won't let her bring me down, I can do this. W is dark towards me-thoughts on that? is she scared? I she thinking about me? Why do I care? Well, because I want her back. I gotta stop this nonsense.
"embrace the suck" - Coach "don't go all "Melty Man" on us" - Puppy Let Go and Let God Finally "Got It" - 15 Jan 2010
I try to get those thoughts out of my head, but they always come back... My W is dark towards me. I am concerned about that. This is so hard, and I am struggling just to get through this sentance. I don't want to get emotional, I want to stay focused, but I keep going back to them being together. It makes me sick, and nauseous. I am so disappointed in my W. She's almost 40, and she is traipsing around the Soldiers Barracks like a teenage sl$t. I just want to see my boys. I just want to talk with them.
"embrace the suck" - Coach "don't go all "Melty Man" on us" - Puppy Let Go and Let God Finally "Got It" - 15 Jan 2010
Get the focus off her, detach - let go of the outcome, be a leader right now. Ever seen a combat leader do well reacting and becoming emotional? You will see your boys. Pray for it. Have faith.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
keep praying. Hug the first person you see in the states!
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
It is impossible to prevent these thoughts and this pain as everything is unfolding so traumatically.
It IS possible to prevent yourself from losing control in front of your kids and your wife. Lose it when you're by yourself. Rant and lament in your posts here. Break down in front of a close friend or even a stranger. But you CAN keep it together and follow the advice you've been getting when it really counts. Take it from everyone here, the sooner you get yourself under control the better your odds of getting the entire situation under control will be, even if the results you want come VERY slowly.
Age: 28 Wife's Age: 28 Relationship: 10 Years (dated on and off) Married: Less than one year Seperated: 1.75 years, finally served with D 4/30/2011
SD, I have been reading along but have not posted yet. I have been in your sitch returning from a deployment and having this happen. I know that it is difficult. You have to keep your emotions in check. I did not and was a wreck for a long, long time. If you can steel yourself around the wife you will be better off. Your emotions will not serve you well--I think I lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks after I got home and couldn't sleep for a while. I know it is difficult to not think about what your wife and OM have done--try your best to fill your time doing something constructive or this will consume you. Have a good time with you boys and don't let your wife ruin that.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
Ok, I am on the ground at my post. I am staying with a friend. When I landed my friend was there to pick me up-I didn't call W, called my friend. He drove me out to house. Front door was open, and we both went in. W was asleep on couch, heard me and my friend come in, jumped I told her that I had evry right to be there, and she immediately called the post CG, and post CSM, saying that I threatened her-lie. I called the sheriff, and waited peacefully inside. My boys came bounding down the stairs, and I just hugged and squeezed them until I couldn't do it anymore. Sheriff comes-he talks to both of us-she lies to him saying there is already a rest. order out for me-he runs my name-no order-of course. Sheriff tells her that I can stay there if I want to but he told me he didn't recommend it. Meanwhile, W is calling everyone on my post, about me being there. I get a call from the rear det CSM, he wants to see me, so I pack up kids and go to post. Get to post, he gives me a no contact order towards my W. No contact-nothing. So I am dark regardless. Also, he tells me if she calls one more time about me-he is sending me back overseas. So, I feel like I have done something wrong. Spent the day with my boys, was great except for all of the mistreatment they have received from my W. It broke my heart to hear the things she has said and done to them. Both S's said they wanted to stay with me, during my R & R, and after-they don't like their M much anymore. I told them it really wasn't up to me anymore. I am dead tired tonight, and I am sure I am missing some things. I have to tell you I kept my cool around W, and when I saw her, I felt...nothing. She just looks tired, and used. My S tell me she drinks constantly, driving under the influence. There is so much. Oh, then she just volunteered to me that she had gotten a ticket/charged with open container while driving!!! I really dislike this woman. The OM chain gets the visit from my chain tomorrow. Found out the guy is a mid enlisted guy. It just disguists me. I am not exposing to W family until AFTER I go back overseas. If I do that, she will call my chain immediately.
Well, I am going to sleep, I will write more tomorrow. Thank you all for the thoughts and prayers.
"embrace the suck" - Coach "don't go all "Melty Man" on us" - Puppy Let Go and Let God Finally "Got It" - 15 Jan 2010
