What to do when H doesn't contact?

[jon2911]

GF,
Good! Glad I misunderstood your post.

Very sorry about the birthday. Happy Birthday though!

Can you see how confused he is? He's hurting, but doesn't think that staying married will help. I'm glad you got a glimpse of what he's really feeling, they try and put up a happy front.

Hang in there. Keep on doing things for YOU. This is so hard and counter-intuitive, which is why we keep reminding each other here.

I'm 2 1/2 years in, and still wonder what W would think when making decisions. Starting to come out of that and realize who I aPr

[Goodfight]

What can I do for him? I don't want him to hurt and I know he is really messed up but he doesn't contact me unless it has to do with things like the health insurance. H told me in the beginning that being single would be better another words and now he sees that it's not but still nothing. I understand he is confused, but I really believe it is more about all of the lies he told his family about me and doesn't know how to get out of the mess that he has made.

I had to call him and tell him about paying the truck payment that he gave back to the bank without my consent when he first left, because they told me they were seeking an attorney to contact us regarding he didn't pay in Nov. or Dec. They told me they weren't allowed by law to leave that message on an answering machine so I called and left it.

I wasn't cocky, just nice calm and cool and told him he needed to pay it or they would have an attorney contact us and asked him to let me know if and when he pays the payments. I heard nothing back from him so I had to call the bank to see if he paid or not. He did pay though.

[jon2911]

H told me in the beginning that being single would be better another words and now he sees that it's not but still nothing. I understand he is confused, but I really believe it is more about all of the lies he told his family about me and doesn't know how to get out of the mess that he has made.

That's great insight. In fact, that's exactly what MichelleLT's Ex said about why he was scared to reconcile.

Good that he paid the bill. Here's a quick thought: you still have expectations of him and get disappointed when they don't happen.

It's time to start expecting him to act like an alien, and one who might divorce you. And part of LRT is realizing that even if that happens, you can handle it. There's a confidence that the spouse can sense.

I'm talking as much to myself here. I'm not there yet. Will post more on my thread.

[Goodfight]

Oh D13 told me that yesterday she called my H for $5.00 and he claimed he just got home from the hospital because he was very sick. And that he even came home early from work the night before because he was so sick (he never misses work)!!! So anyway he had no way of getting to her to give her the money. I didn't know what the right thing to do was so I didn't do anything. Maybe I should have text him or something but I haven't heard from him in over a week. What do you think I should do? Should I text him and ask how he is feeling or if he needs anything? But then again he has his 2 families to do everything for him where as I have none. Need some input on this one everyone.

[jon2911]

I would hang tight right now. This is a long road, you're doing great!

[Goodfight]

I text him a text and asked him if he was ever going to bother with my son that he raised last night since Christmas was coming and it would be a great time for them to get back together (their relationship). I was nice about it and explained that he is hurting terrible that he is not included and feels abandoned by him. See my son's father hasn't seen or bothered with him since he was 4yrs. old. So my H has raised him and always included him as his own until the separation. But I didn't get an answer. My girlfriend said for me just to forget it and hope and pray my son can get through this and that he is never coming back and wants nothing to do with my son. I just don't get how someone can do this to a child. My son is 19yrs. old but is special needs and has the mentality of a 10yr. old so he is really going through a rough time with this and doesn't understand. My friend said I got my answer by H not answering he wants nothing to do with my S anymore.

[Goodfight]

I really don't get any of H's actions. Our D13 said that her and him were in a store shopping and I'll Be Home for Christmas and H was singing to the song and got really sad but then he turns around and does this to my son that I really consider his son and so did he for 14yrs.

[jon2911]

His actions aren't going to make sense right now. He's torn between competing and opposite emotions.

My W is the exact same way, but she's still filing for D. If you have any advice for my thread it would be appreciated.

[Goodfight]

Well, we are talking now. Not about R or M but H was telling me he is moving again. This will be 4 times in a year. He was just talking about how he is going day shift now instead of night shift because business is so slow that he is being bumped. I asked him if we can please get along for our D13's sake and when we are at her activities not to ignore each other like we don't even know one another and he agreed. So right now the only thing I have going for me with H is that we agreed to be friends and not talk about the past. Is this a start?

[dday101798]

Ahh, I found you GF.

Now, you seperated just about a year ago, and there is a OW? Communication from what I see in the last 2 pages of posts was lackluster at best?

You've mentioned in the last couple pages 2 recent instances of your H becoming 'emotional'. When you've had communication, did he ever say his stance on the MR?

I'll try to catch up, but cliffnotes would be GREAT!