The current thinking here is to expose to the OP's spouse. They have a right to know since they are directly involved. Wouldn't you want to know? Plus how attractive is your wife when this guy is getting drummed at home by his wife about her? She is now a liability - financially, domestically, professionally, and time-wise.
Work doesn't have a right to know but it is a consideration. If you divorce it will come out at their employer or you can at least they make sure they know at that point.


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.