i guess he didn't speak to my niece directly, he spoke to her boyfriend.
apperently he also made comments of : I haven't spoke to jstar in two weeks. refered to him going to court for tickets on his truck no lights no insurance.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
I think that those are reasonable things for you to expect to hear in your case.
I guess now that you know what you want from him, how can you set him up to be successful in giving that to you?
I guess that I just feel like, at some point a dialogue needs to happen about these things... Im not sure when the right time to do that, break the silence is, but I think that at some point when he initiates, you are going to have to respond. That being said- I dont think that this is what you need to do at this particular moment. But maybe be open to look for opportunities when it could be well received.
Now- do you think that that is a realistic to think that he might say that? Just because something is reasonable, doesnt mean that its realistic.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
Ok, so hear me out, Jstar, do you two have camera phones? Or does he get email? Can you send him a picture of D2, or maybe a shot of the ultrasound, just something like that. No message, just the picture.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
he has email, but i don't know it, i don't think he checks it.
so last night he sends a text around 11pm. thank you. this time last year we were driving to church. i see you will always be the same. How are my kids?
i agree i don't think i'm ready to speak to him. realistically what i want to hear is most likely not going to happen, my standards / expectations are to high for him at this point.
obviously he's wondering what i'm doing, doing a little rehashing of past good times we've had. but i don't think enough to break silence. but again i could be totally wrong.
me being completely dark is majorlly out of my character, me never responding is a complete 180 from way i was before.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
No, I dont think that its wrong, but if you never have contact with him, well, thats exactly what its going to perpetuate... you will never have contact. At some point, things need to shift, you know?
I guess when he contacts you, and you are ready for it, I would respond. If he asks how D2 is, tell him that shes great, the two of you went to the park and had a wonderful time playing with the other kids, then you have to go. If he says you will never change, tell him that you are trying your best to change, and hope that he is too, then you have to go.
You are supposed to keep all communication short, and you need to keep control of it. So, you answer his messages late, leave the conversations early, because you always have something better to do.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
Jstar, your sitch may have an extra added layer of difficulty in the form of cultural differences as well.
My sister married a man from Mexico City, helped him get his green card, and then....well....
Anyway, during the divorce trial, he just didn't get it that women in this country actually have rights. He was blown away that my sister was awarded the house and spousal maintenance; so blow away that he admonished his atty to "DO SOMETHING!!" as the judge was handing down the decision.
well i didn't get him any legal status to be here in the united states. my house is mine free and clear, bought prior to marriage, only me on deed, ect.
just can't collect child support from a man who is NOT legally allowed to work in u.s.a.
good for your sister.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
