Question

[awest1217]

Yes, the Bible does allow for divorce because of infidelity, but I have a personal strong conviction to stand by my marriage. That does not mean I will allow H to walk all over me either, but there are many things he is doing that is very different than ever before. I agree the "playing the field" is stupid right now because he should have done that BEFORE we got married, on the other hand, he was very immature then and although I encouraged him to date other girls when they came up (I was only his 2nd girlfriend), he always said no because he didn't want to lose me. I definitely know where you are coming from, but I feel in some ways I am gaining my respect from him back everyday that I show him I will love him despite his faults. There will come a day where he will have to make a complete decision, but right now I need to be loving without being cold.

I read a lot on the chapter about infidelity in DR. It says when H does not want to leave OW to show that you are better and be the best you, you can be. That is what I am doing.

So today H came over to help with cookies, which was a blessing because I would not have been able to finish without his help, plus take S to his first birthday party at Chuck E Cheese for his friend. I let him know it was a huge help, and he came out of the blue and without me asking. Then he is shopping to find better prices on gifts we had decided on for his family. When I got home with S, we needed to clean up from cookies, put stuff away, S was screaming, plus he got cupcake all over the place...let's just say it was horrible. I called my mom to come help me, but she was at a christmas party...and so was the rest of my family. So I am about to drop-kick S because he won't stop whining so I decide to call H. He sounds perturbed that I called so I got even more frustrated. To make a long story short, we started to fight, but I stopped it right away (the first time I saw a cycle and was able to stop before instead of after ). He said something that made me feel I was a bad mom for being overwhelmed one day in eight months and for calling him for help. I just said it offended me and said I was a very good mom. I left it at that and told him to just keep shopping. About 30 minutes later, for the first time in a long time, he apologized. He said I am an awesome mom and he was wrong for getting upset. He said I was a great person and thanked me for loving him. This isn't huge, but he acknowledged that I am loving him no matter what, which is the point.

I know have a lot going on, but I feel good about what I am doing. I am trying to save my marriage. When OW comes up, I let him know I am not ok with it, although there are not consequences from me, there are consequences. He has the least amount of money he has had since before we were married. He can't do anything without people showing their disgust by calling me to tell me when he is out with OW. He doesn't get to know S like he wants. He doesn't have many friends, and is missing them. So there are ways he is suffering consequences, but not by me. I am just showing love.