Im done with that Puppy. Im so livid. I could care less right now. Im just more hurt and saddened by the fear and pain my boys and i are soon going to feel again.
Britt, Are you sure you understand what most of the men on here are telling you? You don't seem to be grasping this..
I can only speak for myself here, but it seems to be a common theme the men on here are telling you..
The methods we are proposing to you are to SAVE your relationship. They aren't to end it. Please understand this. I think you need to stop focusing on things like how hurt you are and how much your kids hurt and start focusing on doing what needs to be done to PREVENT the hurt from being a permanent result.
Most of the men on here are telling you how to respond and act because we KNOW what it does to a man when a woman who has been there for you STOPS being there for you and suddenly makes you wonder if she doe NOT love you anymore.
Suddenly the man panics and wonders if he has gone too far. What have I done he thinks. Suddenly his competitive nature (we know your husband has that nature because he plays hockey so much) kicks in after months or years of acting bored with you. Suddenly you are THE most important thing in his life. Suddenly he is doing housework, laundry, wanting to talk about marriage, wanting to go to counseling, sending you flowers, reading relationship books and on and on and on...
READ the threads of the men on this site. STUDY them.
Ask yourself this question....
What has the wife of the men on here been doing? Why is he so interested in saving the marriage? Why hasn't HE let go when she does NOT seem to want him? Why is he trying HARDER now than ever? When did HE wake up?
I believe you will find a common fine thread.. It was almost always AFTER she started to PULL away. She STOPPED telling him she loved him and started saying things like ILYBINILWY... I am not sure what I want. Maybe you should move out. Maybe we should separate. I need some time to think. We are too different. Why did you wait until now to change? I need some time for ME. We are just TOO different. etc etc etc.. Read the men on here and listen to what their wives are saying. LOOK how good that stuff works. Seems to be working very very well to get men to turn around doesn't it? Stop denying REALITY. Move emotinally AWAY from your husband and let him NOTICE and observe and FEEL it. You are NOT trying hard enough.
The only difference between these women and you is that it happened naturally.. Don't wait for that. Since you know it works, then act "as if" you feel that way. Pull him around by doing what works on men, not on what doesn't work. That isn't being smart. Be smart. Trust what we are telling you.
We KNOW these things work because this site is overflowed with men that have women doing and saying these things to them. We know these things work because we have men on here TELLING you they can NOT let go EVEN when his wife is doing everything in her power to tell him she wants out. Many of these men on here if not most, were given chance after chance to be what she wanted, but didn't wake up UNTIL she put him through a crisi/
It is the CRISIS that changes us. (look at what a crisis is doing to you)
You need to put him into a CRISIS. Major crisis.
Your FEAR should actally be that if you DON'T put him through the crisis that you marriage is going to be over. THAT should be your fear..
Stop being "reactive" and start being "proactive"
We are on here to SAVE your marriage and get this back on track. The way you are going about it is NOT heading in the correct direction. Being his doormat is not the way. Being a strong, decisive, proud woman that KNOWS she deserves better an is willing to risk the whole realtionship to get it is what will work the best.
