Pls help--confused and fearful

[newmama]

Oh, and I don't know how you feel about this, but I found a post earlier today about a LBS who resisted her WAS's desire for separation:

(original link: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1877921#Post1877921

Journaling:

H came home at 8:30 last night on a night he had to "work". lol that is a 180 for him!

BUT... made a point of telling me he still is "leaning" towards separation and doesn't want to "take too long" for us to look at that.

What did Rocked do?

STOOD MY GROUND, people. I stood my ground.

I told H again last night, in no uncertain terms that I will not agree to a separation at this point. I told him that I continue to choose this M and if he chooses to move out that is HIS choice and his alone to own to our kids and everyone else. H got a bit agitated and said, "I knew this would end up being about YOU and my issues that I am struggling with would get lost." OMG did I have to bite my tongue! And, I did. I remained calm and said, "I will be more than happy to help you sort out your issues, but not with OW in the picture. As long as she is in your life, then my focus is on what is best for our M and my stand is non-negotiable."

H got really quiet. Then said, "I don't know what I want." I said, "I know you don't. And I don't think you will be able to figure that out with OW in the picture."

H said, "You are awfully nice to someone who has betrayed you." I said, "It is not about being nice, it is about doing what is right."

I know H did not sleep well last night. I did.