I got my S's last evening (starting my week of custody) -- I have been talking with S8, letting him tell me what he's thinking about the holidays. I am trying to gently let him know that the focus should not be on what he is getting. I think he's okay with the my saying that we just don't know what Santa will bring this year, but I think he is also convinced that he and his brother are going to get everything on their list, that Santa is just bluffing when it comes to keeping a reign on the gifts this year.
It's going to take some time. It's an uphill battle, with my (as you so accurately put it) toxic former spouse, their mother, obliviously working against me. So be it.
I blame myself for helping set the precedent when we were M. I went all out and tried to spoil my family, but it was unwise. xW hasn't stopped, hasn't realized how materialism was such a huge contributing factor to ripping our family apart. SInce the bomb I've tried to turn over a new leaf.
