b4 i can even work on these things, dad gets taken to icu...he is now stable
h comes through again, at first he said he would sleep here just in case... i thank him and he he starts getting really pissy. i leave the room, he tucks the girls in and then follows me into the kitchen saying he has to get going...ok thats fine, i am drained i just want to go to bed...
he then starts into an almost rant on how he is finally sticking up for himself and doing for him...he moved out and now he intends on filing for d after the first of the year...
how everyone is on him about how wrong this all is, what about his girls, what about his wife...basically what the hell is wrong with him...i calmly approach who everyone may be, his sister, mom dad...
WHY and HOW could he end a day like today like this???
he has a new group of friends, both male and female, has talked about them freely all along...phone calls and where he was going and the such. no one i really know. he has isolated pretty much anyone that knows us as a couple for whatever the reason may be...
what do i do here? the new year is a few weeks away, i am scared stiff...
he has no good reasons, those that had any true merit in the beginning are long gone because i have taken care of them...
Gno, please help me here again, my marriage is sacred to me and my family is most of my world...wtf can i do???
why wont this man give our family and marriage a chance at being reunited?
i just dont get it...he will not work on anything here...not even himself. it also scares me because this is clearly NOT the man i know and love.
its like Jeckyll and Hyde...
me 39 h 38 kids 9 and 6 h left 8/9/09 loving and devoted wife and mother still going...10 months later...
I'll rip this apart tomorrow. Here's what you can go to bed with in the meantime: Filing for D is one thing... getting it is a long process especially if it's opposed. So relax, it's not the end of the world.
Do you think there's an OW?
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
no, i honestly dont... h hasnt given me a reason to consider it. although i dont want to rule ANYTHING out because of the obvious...i want to be able to work on and get through it as a couple no matter what it takes!
one of my issues that i will take blame for is the smothering...this is long gone now in my eyes. I would even go as far as saying in councelling i also tacked a few more to my list of wrongs, controlling ( with good intentions only), i worry about too much, i wasnt as open minded as i am now, i always seemed to have to have it my way...
I have come a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG way...for the better.
i have believed all along he is enjoying the freedom, maybe a bit too much, like i said i see no big improvement in him nor do i see how he is working through any of his issues...just dont go down that road with him...not worth the effort at the time
i want to continue to work on me and the things that can help this horrible mess!
its late here too, im gonna do the same! thank you, and sleep peacefully!
me 39 h 38 kids 9 and 6 h left 8/9/09 loving and devoted wife and mother still going...10 months later...
update on dad, bleeding ulcer, with a laege blood clot on top of it.monitoring the clot, will operate if needed. was given 2 units of blood due to low count and what is being lost. still stable...
h is at class, kids are with me. it will be another loooooooong day but hopefully full of much better things!
I feel very down, i cant help but be...im trying to pull myself up!
the time of year, a sick parent and an estranged spouse all add up to a not so great place to be, hope to leave it very soon...
me 39 h 38 kids 9 and 6 h left 8/9/09 loving and devoted wife and mother still going...10 months later...
oh yeah, about h filing...ty! i slept ok...i know it takes a while and the such...it just seems so much like the end to me right now...need to take a breath and learn what i can do...
me 39 h 38 kids 9 and 6 h left 8/9/09 loving and devoted wife and mother still going...10 months later...
I'm glad your dad is stable. What you can do right now is get busy with the kids. Take them to see grandpa for a while then take them someplace where the three of you can have FUN.
You need to take your mind off him and your M for now.
Have you read DR? What are you doing for GAL?
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
Well it's about time you used that gray matter of yours and got clued up on the legalities. This is the first thing I did when the bomb dropped.
This is GREAT news for you Lost. Now go and get a free consult for legal counsel. Be proactive. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. The more knowledge you have the more reassured you will be. I'm betting that you can prolong the process in your state for up to two years.
You're mama-bear and you gotta lookout for them cubs of yours. Work towards reconciliation while you prepare for divorce.
should i assume there may be ow, as this is such a big part of mlc?
i just want to back off...if he feels suffocated and trapped, and those are his reasons for wanting d, that would be where to start right?
I just have a hard,very hard time believing a d is truly what he wants. i believe what he wants is to have some time to himself to enjoy the things he loves in life...fishing, hunting...a beer with the guys.
as i stated b4, these were MY issues...i wanted to do EVERYTHING with him.no matter what it was or who it was with... I have overcome this...completely.
i feel he wont give us a chance because he doesnt believe i am capable of it...however he also isnt willing to spendmuch time at all with me, without the girls. this make it extremely hard to show my actions...or reactions to things in general.
he is also quite guilty of picking me apart for breathing wrong...
me 39 h 38 kids 9 and 6 h left 8/9/09 loving and devoted wife and mother still going...10 months later...
checking in real quick...busy between work and the hospital!
Dad is out if icu for now, doing great!
h has again been a trooper with the help he has given me and with the girls...
I thank him when warranted. things have been ok on that front surprisingly!no arguments at all, for now anyways.
i have been trying the nc and 180's...all i can do at this time because of my dad he has been around a lot, not sure if that is good or bad...i havent had to ask him though. he has just stepped up.
will post more as soon as i have some tome to myself!
me 39 h 38 kids 9 and 6 h left 8/9/09 loving and devoted wife and mother still going...10 months later...
