And what a waste of my time it was, as I took time away from my family at Christmastime, to give him a bunch of advice that he just summarily ignored.
I think I need a break from here . . .
I'd say take the weekend off. I know I take an evening off now and again; there's only so much I can take of reading other peoples' situations before it starts getting to me.
Just watch the people you want to keep up with (like, say, SD) and go do something for yourself and the family.
Sad to say, but we'll all still be here...
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
I know what it's like for the newbies to be all raw and hurting and reacting -- I did every wrong thing I could think of the first couple of weeks.
I'm thankful that I discovered DB and DR about the time my wife had her surgery; it gave us a break where I could get my act together.
I think I need to take sandi's list of things to do/not do and make a copy of it for myself. That should be the first thing posted to any new person's sitch.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
Yes I checked his FB this am and here is what is playing...Do I even dare to read into this?
Boston - A Man I'll Never Be
If I said what's on my mind You'd turn and walk away Disappearing way back in your dreams It's so hard to be unkind So easy just to say That everything is just the way it seems
You look up at me And somewhere in your mind you see A man I'll never be
If only I could find a way I'd feel like I'm the man you believe I am And it gets harder every day for me To hide behind this dream you see A man I'll never be
I can't get any stronger I can't climb any higher You'll never know just how hard I've tried Cry a little longer And hold a little tighter Emotions can't be satisfied
You look up at me And somewhere in your mind you see A man I'll never be
If only I could find a way I'd feel like I'm the man you believe I am And it gets harder every day for me To hide behind this dream you see A man I'll never be
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
Yes I checked his FB this am and here is what is playing...Do I even dare to read into this?
Boston - A Man I'll Never Be
If I said what's on my mind You'd turn and walk away Disappearing way back in your dreams It's so hard to be unkind So easy just to say That everything is just the way it seems
You look up at me And somewhere in your mind you see A man I'll never be
If only I could find a way I'd feel like I'm the man you believe I am And it gets harder every day for me To hide behind this dream you see A man I'll never be
I can't get any stronger I can't climb any higher You'll never know just how hard I've tried Cry a little longer And hold a little tighter Emotions can't be satisfied
You look up at me And somewhere in your mind you see A man I'll never be
If only I could find a way I'd feel like I'm the man you believe I am And it gets harder every day for me To hide behind this dream you see A man I'll never be
I think a lot of men are afraid that their wives/woman would be scared off, confused, and turned off by the thoughts, doubts and fears that run thru our minds. We want to be seen as the providers, fixers, leaders and doers in our families. So when our negative thoughts (snakes on a brain) overrun us we struggle with how to cope. Asking for help and risk looking weak or uncapable is terrifying. How many men will ask for directions when we get lost driving? I think the PTSD is a real strong possibility and maybe he is trying to tell you something. That's my opinion.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
