I would be angrier still if X came back and didn't really understand my anger and was crying and expecting me to deal with HIS feelings all the time. To be honest, just thinking about it really kind of ticks me off.
I was thinking about what you said and it seems like you really have a good understanding of what she is probably feeling. I just feel like we had a much better relationship until we brought the house together. Now it seems like any and every topic is not allowed to be discussed. One of our neighbors use to work with my ex and I was was telling my ex that the neighbor was really hurt that she hadn't called her in some time. My ex response was that I had no business talking to our neighbor and that she didn't want me making conversation in the future. What a control freak!!! She then tells me that she is only going to talk to me in front of a marriage counselor because all I do is offend people.
Quote:
in some ways, still an outsider to your own family
That statement is so true. In retrospect, had I known how the situation was going to be, I would not have brought the house and moved in together. I saw the signs prior to us moving in together and against my better judgment, I went against my gut. It is as if I am not even welcomed in my own house. There is no way I am getting married like this and yet I have no way of telling my x how I feel without her getting upset. I want things to work out, but we need a lot more time to heal and bond - a lot more time than I was anticipating. I always figured that healing would be a lifetime journey, but by now I would have expected some bonding and healing to have been done.
I am feel like telling my x to go back and live with her best friend if she won't make an effort and talk like civil adults. Today we were going to go to a xmas party for her work and now she is telling me that we are not going. I am so mad, so upset, so hurt. And yet, I know that she is hurt, defensive and just trying to protect herself.
I am trying, but I don't know if I am cut out for this - if I can take any more rejection. A part of me just wants this to end so I can have some closure. I am on the edge, with one foot on the side quitting, selling the house and moving on. The other side of me want to keep fighting. I just don't know if I can take the abuse, the crying, not being able to focus on the job. I haven't felt this bad since the day the divorce became official.
