Question

[ClingingToHope]

I will pray for you. I'm really worried about this anniversary. He sounds like the type that will do something really nice ... and then when he gets a free moment he'll send a text to OW to make sure she's not going anywhere either.

I'm worried this will set you back.

Isn't infidelity one of the reasons the bible allows for a divorce? I hope you can get through this OK and be stronger after the holidays.

Respect is a big thing. When I was still in the house, my W was saying things to me like I was clingy, needy and couldn't move on. It was typical WAS stuff, but it also showed she'd lost respect for me.

I didn't do myself any favors by asking if she "was sure" or would go to counseling or a marriage group on four occasions in the first two months of being separated.

A major key, it seems to me, in divorce busting, is earning back respect you've lost.

In your case, it seems you are pretty quick to tell him you want him back or it was nice having him around. He may respect you more if you tell him you want nothing to do with him if he's living with OW on your anniversary.

Just a thought.

My anniversary is in April, towards the end. I'm going to buy two tickets to the Cubs that game. They are playing the Nationals so tickets should be available.

If things are going in a positive direction then I'll ask W. If they are the same or going in the opposite direction, I'll take a friend or meeting with a friend who lives in Chicago.