Question

[awest1217]

I agree CTH, but right now I am trying to at least get through our anniversary. I don't want to ruin the chance that possibly he is going to do something for me. After that...I just don't know. It is so hard. I read about how we are in a marriage and being a Christian W I need to stick to my marriage no matter what, but most of the readings are about H's who only have one affair...not multiple. So that is where I am struggling. I want to do the right thing, but at the same time, my situation is so different from so many because this isn't a one time deal.

I know he doesn't respect me. He never has, which is why I know he won't choose me. He has never chosen me. The one time I did an ultimatum with OW, he chose her. Now I don't know if he still will, but I am scared to be completely kicked to the curb when he has been doing more and more. There is progress, but you are right he doesn't have to choose, but then again I should be wooing him by showing what a great w I am. I just don't know....

Lucky, the most recent texts I read between H and OW he says he loves her, but he told me that for years, and had OW on the side. The texts with the old OW are like they used to be...very sexual. So he is playing all three of us, and I would love to just burst his bubble, but I want to wait until after the anniversary. I really think that will let me know where he truly is. Actually I want to wait until after the church time on the 20th. God can work miracles. He performed the biggest christmas miracle ever so many years ago. I am just praying he will do one for me.