New to this Community seeking advice

[JR09]

I reflect on myself and the past 18 months of separation from my W. She left because I had a bad case of PTSD after returning from Iraq. My attitude was deplorable, I spewed venom occasionally in my interactions with my W. It was pure hell at times. So my W left, and rightfully so. It takes courage to leave one's H and remove oneself from all the terrible environment. I did tell that to my W a few months ago.

Since then, I had to take care of myself because of the circumstances with my W leaving. Neither her nor I couldn't go on like this anymore. So I really got serious about healing and working on my PTSD. But then, I noticed that my W became the one with the venom comments, rage over the phone. The pain repressed for so many years is now coming out of my W. As I am healing, my W is releasing all her pain and hurt in some of our phone calls.
I venture to say she is now dealing with HER PTSD, while I am recovering from mine.

The roles seem to be reversed. As I am coming out of my tunnel, my W is deeply entrenched in hers with no light in sight. I hope she will also emerge whole and at peace one day. Right now, all the repressed pain is coming out, and I don't blame her for voicing it. I just hope she too will find enough strenght to wanting to heal. It took me for my W to be a WAW to trigger my road to recovery. What will it take for her? I don't know.

JR