Sandi's Place

[ClingingToHope]

Yes. Sometimes I'm not as clear as I can be. I feel like I've screwed up so much in the first six months of the separation that it's going to be impossible to rally without a D.

I never should have moved out. I never should have offered so much while separated. I should have forced her hand.

When she was spotted at the county fair with another man and I -- weakly confronted her about it -- she said they were just friends but "what does it matter. I haven't changed my mind. We're getting divorced."

So yes, I'm stuck with my nice-guy choices and going back on them would look weak. It's better to just keep working, keep working, and show her I can make it under any circumstance.

The last one, the OM boundary, I've looked and looked and checked and checked and don't believe there's an active OM right now.

She did go out on a couple of occasions -- I don't know if it was alone or in groups -- with other men. A couple of months ago she googled an ex-boyfriend. Her texts and cell minutes are not out of line. As far as I can tell, she's replacing my affection with romance novels and "toys."

But how do I set that boundary? If she chooses to begin seeing other men while we are still married without a divorce filing then I'll save her the trouble and file.