The Dog doesn't have much to say right now. Things are going well and the Dog feels good.
Still on for a week furlough but I have enough $ to get through it.
The youngest showed me some of his schoolwork. His reading and writing has improved so much and I am proud of him.
Had a few interactions with the she on kid stuff. Didn't feel one way or another on any of it.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
I took kids to a restaurant and the she met us there. It went ok. They ate and had fun but didn't make too many pig noises.
Most of the conversation was just everyday stuff but the she made one comment when the kids were out of earshot that really poisoned the well, not only on the evening but on the whole neutrality of the past weeks & months. In her complaints about bills she mentioned how she was upset about she was paying legal expenses but "you got that motorcycle."
Let's get in the wayback machine here.
Yeah, I got a bike after the separation while the div paperwork was in progress. It was old and inexpensive. It was to replace the nice bike I voluntarily sold in the spring to pay off taxes, bills, and troubles. I used a few hundred of my savings I probably shouldn't have but it was better than any therapy I've paid for.
What were those legal expenses? She said she wanted the div so she said she would draft a settlement agreement and do the paperwork. She's an atty and can do that. We agreed to pay our respective legal costs. I had my atty look over the draft and final settlement and provide me counsel (at my expense). We agreed to keep paperwork to a minimum and avoid any expensive atty-to-atty talk. Initially she thought she would do most of this herself with a little side consultation which would have made things just about equal however she ended up hiring someone to do almost all of it, including redrafting the settlement agreement almost word-for-word, and having the atty represent her at the court hearing. Both unnecessary IMO. (She has way more court experience than the person she hired). And up until now this was all ok because "she wanted it that way." I also thought that through all of this the split was very equal and that this bit of paperwork / court time was accounted for.
Now she's upset about money I spent during the sep and div? It's really none of each others beeswax what happens anymore. If we want to get into money:
- How 'bout those airline tix she bought to AZ? - How 'bout the thousands mixed up with BFF that turned into a huge mess? - How about the tens-of-thousands I saved both of us by having our attys refile the ch13 to reflect the new circumstances. She initially didn't want to do this but I paid $ for consultations, changed her mind, and got it done. - How 'bout the fact she's building equity while I'm flushing money down the rent toilet.
And she's giving me trouble over a old '78 Suzuki?!? Gimme a break.
See why it's a bad idea to open this up? The Dog wants to be done.
I hold up my end. I take care of the kids. I spend a more than I should renting this house so they have a nice place, with a yard, and a location close to their school and my work (and the youngest still doesn't like it). I may have to move but I will do what I can.
I'm sorry if this sounds angry but I have get it out somewhere. Maybe I'm wrong here. Maybe I should kick in for the filing fees. If I am then certainly call me out on it. Bring on the 2x4s and tell me what I'm missing. Otherwise I had no response to her comment and I plan none.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
Maybe you should just simply say "Im sorry that the divorce *you* wanted is costing more than *you* planned"
I dont think that it was a bad idea to open it up, would it have been better to have stewed on it for a while? I doubt it. I think that you were probably right in not responding, and you wont get a 2x4 from me. You did a better job than I would have!
Get angry if you need to, we can handle it.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
