WAW in affair. Help!

[Norm914]

Made a decision today. It’s best to work in terms of short-term goals so my first goal is to detach and get on with my life. I’m giving myself three weeks to work on this facet alone. Stop obsessing about the A and have a good holiday with my family. I can’t deal with the A until my head is in a good place, and I shouldn’t try. I’ll only screw things up.

Downloaded an e-book this evening called “Break Free From the Affair” by Bob Huizenga. Calls himself the “Infidelity Coach”. (Probably been mentioned on this board before.) You can view a bunch of short vids on YouTube by searching “bxterl27”. Feel free to copy this on other threads. If you’re the victim of an A, the vids alone will make you feel better.

Although I’m just a third of the way through the book, I love this guy’s approach to confrontation! Sorry Puppy, but I think this guy has one up on you.

Instead of the stern “I know what you’re doing and it has to stop” which really stops nothing, he advocates a different approach, “Gee, this must be hard for you, having to sneak around and wondering if OM’s wife is on to you. What a terrible way to live. I feel sorry for you.” It’s the ultimate 180! “I know and I don’t care.”

It completely takes the piss out of any defense: “We’re not having an affair! What proof do you have?!”

“Yeah, whatever. I don’t care.” (But you know I know.)

So, for the next few weeks I’m going to focus on ME and learn how to visualize my life as a single person – emotionally, financially, everything. If the M works out, great. But I’m not betting the farm on it. I will stop snooping and stop obsessing. When and if I confront, I’ll be in a much better place to do it.