I can take it no more soldiers wife need help

[armywifevampi]

is it true u never really know ur other half like u think u do..... cuz I do but this time...... he is someone I have never met in my life..... ive been with him 21years and every time he tells me u should know me by now ....... how if I have never in my 21years seen this.... im trying very hard to be the hard person I know I am ... but when he emotionally hits me with his words is to stab me with a knives and leave it in there... that’s how bad he is right know ...... that if I where to bring the subject of my feelings or me in the picture... he will go off...... I don’t want to be his friend I will never be his friend.... im his wife so why dose he act like that like if I was a friend.... he knows I would never be a friend to him .... no mater what ..... when its over for good its over for good.... and I don’t want to get that way cuz.. ill keep hurting in side even though I know he wont come back... when that happens . .. imp a loner the type of person that u met and say oooo she look scary... all my daughter and his friends say that all the time always till they start to talk to me and hang with me.... why cuz i mean business when its time and when its time to play I do to..... but at my age not as a child... I grow up quick cuz I had my baby girl at 16 and married him at the same time... we planed her .... even though I know he was not ready for one after I had her.... never had another since cuz he don’t want no more kids ....... im sure this comes from more then just a few weeks or months I think its more like years.... and since he don’t like to talk about it he hides from his fears and the truth of it all...... im sure he knows he’s wrong.... sometimes I think he is doing this cuz he don’t want me to live this life he has going new for him.... I know I think to much but if ur always the leader and not a follower u think allot to make sure everything in ur life goes good... I sometimes would like not to think about nothing but I have way to much on my mind..... with this and our daughter and my job and life it self ........ I was going to forget allot of things when I was going to see him... see ive never seen snow or been out of here.... so that way my getaway.... to be with him and see my dream I always said I will see it with him.... also our anniversary is on dec. 25 on xmass day that’s when we married it will be our 21years and its getting closer so its harder for me to cope our boyfriend and girlfriend anniversary was on thanksgiving day when he for the 3time broke up with me.... so I think this to has allot to do with my emotions right know... im trying though....