Welp, you've gotten him into therapy and that is Big Step number one. There at least is something inside of him that has recognized that all may not be as it should, you know?
Give your counselor time to work. You've been to one, maybe two sessions? Your counselor is obviously on your side, and you letting him talk for you I think is your best bet right now. If you continue to 'push,' your H just may stop going altogether, and you don't want that.
Learning to set boundaries is going to be really tough for your H, and your empathy will work to your benefit. His mother may be the last one for him to overcome, so try to be patient. In the meantime, you can follow Lostlove's suggestions on finding things to do regardless of what H does.
I don't think you should ever let your H off the hook, but conversely, telling him you appreciate all the efforts he is making for your relationship could be encouragement he is in sore need of.
Patience. (I know that word probably makes you want to rip your hair out, hm?) Remember, the road to patience is through the empathy and tolerance we are able to offer to others. This may not move as fast as you want it, but you two have already started this jouney of healing together, and you are that much closer to finding your solutions than you were just a month ago.
