Can I save my marriage?

[Lll54]

And I would agree. Its just not right. I am really really leaning forward to the idea that he is here just for a place to live. I don't think he came home for me at all. He talks future, includes me in family things, and talks about living here in the future. But i honestly think he thinks this whole room mate thing is okay. Ugh,makes me sick.

He was pushing for sexual intimacy so many times yesterday. Grabbing me when I walk by him, touching me, blah blah... I think I'm okay in dealing with an A. I think I will be able to handle it okay.

Not sure if it can be forgiven, especially when he is all over me at home. That's sick.

I'm just getting tired of being used for a companion when he has nobody else or when everyone else is busy, a house wife to clean his clothes and cook him lunch and supper everyday, someone to hang out with when he is lonely, a helper when it comes time to taking care of his children. I want to be loved for who I am, and wanted always and he isn't giving me that. I am starting to get really really tired.

My heart is aching. I never thought it could actually ache. But its like a pain I have never felt. When H left my heart was sad and broken. But now it feels as if its being torn apart into two pieces. One side wants my H more than ever and just wants to love him and have him love me and rebuild our R. And the other half just wants to say "leave".