Can I save my marriage?

[TrentC]

Dear Britt

My biggest fear is that he moves out again and leaves us.

He knows this and he's milking it for everything its worth.

Agreed. You never set any boundaries about coming back in, so he feels free to live life the way he wants.

[Lll54]

So i am trying to follow Gucci s advice and act as if. But he is way better at it than me. He came home, grabbed S3 and left for the game. Two seconds flat. Hardly had time to say hi to me. I dont know how to react to this?

[courts0818]

Britt, my H is the same - much better at acting as if. Maybe that's bc it's really not an act for them? Unlike us, they just don't care like we do. It sucks, but do you know what I mean?

[Lll54]

Totally. You're right. They don't care. The only time my H cares is when he has nothing else to do and wants to spend time with me. When there is something else going on, he could care less about me.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Dear Britt

My biggest fear is that he moves out again and leaves us.

He knows this and he's milking it for everything its worth.

Yep. BINGO.

Puppy

[Super Girl]

Britt, don't be surprised if he goes again. My spidey senses are tingling, and something is still off here.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I agree.

[TrentC]

Unfortunately, I do too.

Britt, if you haven't done it, you should spend this time away from your H deciding how you are going to deal with it if and when you find out there is an A going on.

If you think it can be forgiven then decide how you are going to set your boundaries.

If it's a dealbreaker, then figure out what you need to do to take care of yourself and your kids.

[Lll54]

And I would agree. Its just not right. I am really really leaning forward to the idea that he is here just for a place to live. I don't think he came home for me at all. He talks future, includes me in family things, and talks about living here in the future. But i honestly think he thinks this whole room mate thing is okay. Ugh,makes me sick.

He was pushing for sexual intimacy so many times yesterday. Grabbing me when I walk by him, touching me, blah blah... I think I'm okay in dealing with an A. I think I will be able to handle it okay.

Not sure if it can be forgiven, especially when he is all over me at home. That's sick.

I'm just getting tired of being used for a companion when he has nobody else or when everyone else is busy, a house wife to clean his clothes and cook him lunch and supper everyday, someone to hang out with when he is lonely, a helper when it comes time to taking care of his children. I want to be loved for who I am, and wanted always and he isn't giving me that. I am starting to get really really tired.

My heart is aching. I never thought it could actually ache. But its like a pain I have never felt. When H left my heart was sad and broken. But now it feels as if its being torn apart into two pieces. One side wants my H more than ever and just wants to love him and have him love me and rebuild our R. And the other half just wants to say "leave".

[TrentC]

He was pushing for sexual intimacy so many times yesterday. Grabbing me when I walk by him, touching me, blah blah... I think I'm okay in dealing with an A. I think I will be able to handle it okay.

Not sure if it can be forgiven, especially when he is all over me at home. That's sick.

I would definitely refrain from having sex with him until you find out for sure if he's having an affair, unless you want to explain why you feel you should use protection with him (assuming you haven't until now).