Part III - At the crossroads

[forward]

And LMNW, I would be angrier still if X came back and didn't really understand my anger and was crying and expecting me to deal with HIS feelings all the time. To be honest, just thinking about it really kind of ticks me off.

It took years to get to this situation. Give the situation the time it deserves to rebuild. You are in the early stages of rebuilding when it comes right down to it.

I feel that because X moved out and abandoned me and DD, DD and I have developed a special bond--one that is close but that also has some tension because DD does not have tantrums w/X. So while I would not say that the way she is acting with your DD is good, you need to recognize that you are, in some ways, still an outsider to your own family. You cannot change your X and you can only work on yourself and how you respond to her.