Part III - At the crossroads

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LMNW,
I bet your W has not fully processed the anger that she probably has had for you since you left. I can tell you that since I last posted to you, I have been divorced, and the anger is deep, as is the hurt. Being abandoned with a small child was devastating to me. I would have been happy if now-X H had come back, but I recognize the difficulty of being forgiving. I recommend that you read some books about forgiveness and consider what you need to do to make it easier for her to forgive you.

Although you haven't said if there was an A, that adds to the intensity of emotions. I felt as if XH drove a truck over me, backed up and hit me again and drove off laughing.

You say she doesn't care. In a weird way, perhaps she is testing you to see if you will consistently be with her.

"It is also frustrating to feel like she just doesn't care about what's going on in my life - like she doesn't make an effort to show me she loves me. "

Oh man. I hate to say this, but I get this, I do. I mean, she probably felt that from you after you left in a way you might not ever be able to understand.

Maybe there is a sense of "See? This is how I felt." Perhaps you have not talked through things as much as she needs.

You can postpone. You can hold off.

Forgiveness takes time. Perhaps you have not earned it. Perhaps she needs to let go of some things, too. She is still hurt. You have to understand that at this point, all the apologies in the world would not make it easy for me to trust my X again. Frankly, it would be foolish to trust too quickly.

Perhaps she will admit that she needs more time, too. And maybe she's not so sure about things herself. I can tell you that you don't get tons of support for getting back together with an X and not many people supported my DBing.

It has not been that long. Be lovers again, take your time.