Since my H has been home he constantly bugs me about being with another guy.
Not your problem. Ignore. Don't encourage. Keep the mysterious, starry-eyed, absentminded and love-struck act going.
Originally Posted By: britt54
Yesterday he even tried getting it out of our son. "Does mommy bring her boyfriend here sometimes?" Funny thing is, is S said yes! Ha ha. When he asked his name, son says "You daddy!"
ROFLMAO !!! Excellent. Priceless. Give your son a hug and kiss from me!
Originally Posted By: britt54
He also talks about how he has so many woman pining over him. Is this all just playful flirting..or what does it mean?
He's trying to push your jealousy buttons to check your temperature. Don't fall for it. Ignore.
Hi Britt, Continue to keep your guard up, GAL, be mysterious... and keep investigating. When my H was in the midst of his A, it was with someone who would have damaged his professional career terribly... probably would have completely ruined it! Somehow, I think that added to the excitement? Also - he constantly teased me about other men, even trying to almost "encourage" me to date or something....? It was so weird and out of character for him, but I think it was a way he was trying to justify things. Now he tells me he somehow convinced himself that it would all be ok because he could leave me for OW and I would find someone who would make me happy, so therefore the kids would be happy.... Huh?
I just say this to say.... when someone is cheating, is not logical or does not make sense.
It may not be the case for you, but it is better to know than not know, IMO.
Is this all just playful flirting..or what does it mean?
flirting? is it turning either of you on? him?
'Cheater's Mentality'
as it happened to rocked, it happened to a million others. its nothing unique to the situation:
as he is accusing you, you are too busy defending yourself, or worry about what he means, to accuse him. you aren't accusing him any more are you? or are worrying about what he means.
you dont even seem suspicious. or angry. what a tremendous relief for your husband. he doesnt have to go play hockey with the lingering thought that you are onto something.
lets go back to the roses. you stil dont know who sent them? if it wasnt yourself, you did call the florist to find out?
lets go back to the roses. you stil dont know who sent them?
Sheesh!!!! Are you guys a thick as bricks? Doesn't anyone remember the guy who was attracted to her and flirting with her at work? Remember... the patient? THAT'S WHO SENT THE FLOWERS.
Since my H has been home he constantly bugs me about being with another guy. Like just stupid little comments. I didn't take the garbage out yesterday, he says" Well you should get the guy you're seeing to do it", or I'll ask him to do something for me and he will respond the same way.
Yesterday he even tried getting it out of our son. "Does mommy bring her boyfriend here sometimes?" Funny thing is, is S said yes! Ha ha. When he asked his name, son says "You daddy!"
He also talks about how he has so many woman pining over him. He stole my Cd from my truck and I asked for it back, he jokes well fine I have many girls waiting in line to make me a CD anyways.
Is this all just playful flirting..or what does it mean?
Mine did the same thing. Having 2 people into you makes you feel like your on top of the world. We were walking in a grocery store and she mentioned that some stock boy always talks to her. Must have a crush on her. It was the way she said it that time. Like she deserved more than one person.
Its called entitlement.
Within 10 minutes she mentioned she wanted to buy some juice to go with some vodka. I thought WFT? Since when does she drink this stuff. Oh... new experiences,,, one without me. Yes cutter realized then that his marriage was most likely over and an affair was happening... over a tetra pack carton of strawberry and passion fruit ceres pack.
When he is in the entitled mood. Listen to what he says. He is being very bold and will slip up.
So now you will have some additional proof for planning your upcoming actions around.
My problem was it took me an additonal week to face what I knew.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
I have been having a very hard time and just went back and reread your entire thread and BOY has it been helpful. I gave an emotional speech to my hubby last night on alot of things that have been building up inside of me (but they were things that needed to be said) and have really beat myself up over hurting hubby's feelings. Puppy, R2C, Trent, Coach, SwimmingUpStream, CityGirl and others have provided so much encouragement to you but it has also really helped me. I am very hard on myself when I backslide or feel I said the wrong thing (and it is self esteem issue and anxiety) but just reading your whole stitch has given me a breath of fresh air and new energy to keep going and to let go of my fear. I also see how some of the things you wrote mirror what I've been feeling...especially wondering if one misstep "ruined" progress, focusing on hubby. keep up the good work :-) Oh and to those that helped britt out your words to her have been very encouraging to me as well :-)
Me: 28 H: 32 1st marriage 4 both 1 1/2 year married 2gether for 9 1S: 6months 1stepson: 2yo
4Luv, wow, are situations are very very similar! I just read up on yours. Its quite crazy.
Glad my thread could help you! I'm glad you want to let go of that fear. Honestly I'm still working on that. I have a lot of fear. Especially now that H has moved home again. My biggest fear is that he moves out again and leaves us. And puts my children and I through all this pain again. I really don't want to relive that. I dread it everyday. But I also can't live the way I am now.
I don't know what his diluted mind is thinking. But naturally when people hear that he is home again, they assume we are back together...well same goes for his family. I went to visit FIL today and he's asking about Christmas and we we are all going to get together...weird. I don't blame him. He has no idea I practically just have a room mate, not a husband. That's probably what everybody is thinking. BIL also asked questions about xmas like we're one big happy family. I don't know how to handle this with them.....
H called from work today to remind me he wants to take S3 to the hockey game. He usually goes with this father but he isn't going this time. So H has two tickets. When on the phone with him I ask who he is going with since S3 usually sits on his lap, which leaves empty seat. He says nobody just S3 and I. S3 will get his own seat tonight. It just makes me so mad. He is home again, inviting me to certain things, hanging out with me in the evenings, having family time but then won't invite me to a hockey game! Its like he is okay with everything being back to normal at home, but he's not ready to take it public yet. But sorry to say mister, the day you moved home again, you took it public, people are going to assume we're back together.
I just worry that he really is just here for somewhere to stay. And feels like he is the one with the job, and pays the mortgage so he deserves to be here. He asked me to do his laundry the other day, I said no. He then jokes back that if I don't do his laundry he will quit paying my mortgage. I know he was joking, but I sometimes feel like that is truly how he thinks. That he deserves to be here and will stay and come and go as much as he pleases. And doesn't want to R with me.
M: 31 H: 29 Married: 6 yrs Children : 7yr old, 5yr old, 2yr old
Separated: Sept. '09 Moved Back In for wrong reasons: Nov. 30, 09 Recomitted to our Marriage: Jan. 25, 10 Threatening to leave again: July,14
