Thanks for the replies. None of us wants to be in the position I am in ever never mind in five years.
Am I afraid to move on ? Not in my opinion, but I will not move on just for the sake of moving on. It must be for a relationship that I can cherish and be extremely happy with. I have yet to find anyone that would turn into anything like this. It seems there are allot of messed up people in the world ;-)
As far as "self medicating" goes......... Around here we call it getting a good buzz on Not that often. Maybe 5 or 6 times a year. I am not one to try and drown my sorrows. That just makes matters much worse ;-( When I talked to the X I hadn't even finished my first drink yet. Trying to be articulate with alcohol induced courage is a sure fire recipe for disaster.
So, yes it all gets to you once in a while and you can use this forum to vent instead of doing it with people that are tired of hearing about your problems. Anyone who has never dealt with a person in an MLC can't understand what it is we go through. They simply think we are "challenged" and can't move on with our lives.
More later have to run DavidA
You vote with your feet. Divorce final 12/24/2004 I Give Up !
So, If someone says they are sorry for a particular action or deed they did to hurt or disappoint another. Yet they continue doing the same deeds or actions , what is the point of saying I'm sorry ? In an mlc'rs mind does it give them some relief or sense of being absolved ?
In my mind being offered an apology for things done in the past is a great step towards making things right for the future. But repeating the very same things you apologize for just makes me believe that the behavior is robotic and not heart felt. Just when you think they are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel you find out it's not the real thing. They are just doing the things they are being told to do in the "program" figuring that if they do they will magically be cured.
Anyone who has dealt with this as long as I have knows there is no magical cure. Some people will never be healed and will allow the scars that brought them into their mlc to rule and ruin the rest of their lives. Sooner or later we have to give up our stoic attitudes and stubbornness and just plain let go for good and never look back. I am soon to be a that crossroads and I know at this point what direction I have to take.
Happy New Year and best of luck to us all ! DavidA
You vote with your feet. Divorce final 12/24/2004 I Give Up !
Not that often. Maybe 5 or 6 times a year. I am not one to try and drown my sorrows. That just makes matters much worse ;-( When I talked to the X I hadn't even finished my first drink yet. Trying to be articulate with alcohol induced courage is a sure fire recipe for disaster.