I'm going to make a guess that might at least help your outlook. I'll bet STBXW is feeling the cards are stacked against her, as well. You are each going to be seeing and hearing things from your point of view. It's like fans watching a game, and at the end, fans of both teams are convinced the officials were favoring the other side.
Nothing much to add to what 25 says. Man that lady sure can write some good posts!
I hope there is clarity come Dec 16. Then you can physically detach yourself from the insanity of being around your XW. It will do wonders for your outlook.
Great posts. The house will have to go up for sale after the holidays. Classic divorce stuff. Very sad. But..it IS a gorilla on my back right now, so, it has to be done.
With the holidays upon us, my practice is virtually dead. Forced myself to go to the holiday OR party last night. Left early. I could feel the 'stares' and 'see the gossip'. Went home and wrapped gifts.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Folks aren't necessarily staring or gossiping. The ones who know the situation look to you to let them know how to respond. Others might not really care. After all, it's your train wreck, not theirs.
I controlled how folks reacted me to based on the boundaries I set for myself.. demurring rumors, not calling him names or letting others do it and taking the high road. The less gasoline I gave to the fire, the less drama. Of course, that didn't stop me from fuming like crazy with good friends who were quite adroit with 2x4's.
It's amazing how interesting talking about the weather can be when emotionally stressed. Good job on going to the party! And putting the house on the market is a good thing.. even though it's taken me forever to get there.
*hugs*
We should have a tri-state holiday fest of DB'ers.. now that would be fun!
Count me in. OK..so ...deposition is Wednesday AM. Of course, her atty waits until today to fax the document list that he wants. Of course, he fax's the boilerplate list of everything under the sun: every piece of paper that I've ever collected and my Calvin Klein boxer briefs.
No way could I ever bring all that. I have some good stuff that I graphed, etc.
STBXW is still hostile to me. Left for breakfast with the kids on Sunday to take them to IHOP. Left her phone home. Doubled back and accused me of taking it (NOT). She's lost it three times and accused me 3X.
This needs to get done.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
YOU are a GOOD man....a verry good MAN. So may you heal very quickly, may you be fulfilled, may you find the love of your life who is so thankful to have found you, and may your children be filled with joy as you are.
Like Gypsy....I doubt that many are gossiping and staring....people are usually so much more focused on themselves...and more likely to feel WITH you....because they've experienced the crappiness themselves.
You will rebuild a business and it will thrive. Or you will work for someone else and be very successful. No worries. Be at peace...you made a good decision.
your friend, sg
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
