I sat down and wrote my H a letter while he was playing hockey Mon. night. I basically told him that I didn't understand why, if he loves me, he never wants to touch me. I explained that I enjoyed touching him but that he didn't seem to want my touch. I went on to say that I felt that he withholds his touch from me.
Then, I agreed to try counseling. However, I asked that we cease all physical contact in the meantime. (He does like to cuddle and touch, just nothing in any way intimate.) I told him that it just hurt me too much to have the touching and then nothing beyond the cuddling and hand-holding.
I also told him that I loved him but would no longer participate in other parts of his life (i.e., cheering him on at his hockey games). I have always been there for him. I said that I would never ask him for sex, not get mad at him for the lack of sex, and would not attempt to touch him in any way.
He got home from playing hockey around midnight, read the letter, and immediately came to bed...I was so shocked that I forgot to say no (and forgot the request for no physical contact). Geez, I should have written him that letter a long time ago.
We're going to counseling next Weds.; please keep your fingers crossed for us.
