Calling out the Piecers

[dday101798]

TulsaTime,

Thanks!

Summary, the short, short version: Like so many here, We drifted apart in our M without realizing it. MIL died and sent XW into a perhaps MLC? As she went further and further away, I shut down, on her, on the kids, the whole nine yards. Enter her A, and the show was pretty much over, nasty D and there ya have it.

What changed? Well, XW cycled every 3-4 months wanting to talk, and try to figure out what happened, but the conversations would never last more than an hour at best and head south. I in turn since the last attempt in the summer, attended IC for myself (something she begged me to do for years), and just kept picking myself up when I was down. I then just finally let her go, completely. Didn't care anymore. Stopped looking over my shoulder to make sure she was ok and started to go about my life, essentially, I became the WAS.

XW as said, had many many times try to make peace, but never understood, I just simply couldn't be friends with her while she was with someone who helped her tear our family to shreds. The whole while, she was miserable, it was easy to tell. But she was never the less still full of this anger and angst, that, well, as D'd people made no sense to harbor, and I called her out on it, time and time again. This time, she finally must have realized the same.

We have a helluava mess to clean up, but, I'm fairly positive it will pan out. A month ago, I didn't see this possible at all, and I'll be honest, just the same as when I thought we'd never be even remotely where we're at now but had a sliver of hope, now that we are here, I do have a sliver the size of Rhode Island to watch out for a knifing. I don't think that will happen, but, you can never be too cautious in these situations.

So, yeah, a little tough love I guess, even a little unconditional, I let the OM thing go after having fully realized all the things I had done wrong. So, I started to not blame her for not wanting to be with me, hell, I was a mess and half the time didn't give two licks about her, who would want that?

Interaction, well, far and inbetween. When we did, like I said, I was infuriated by the A and OM. I made no true attempts, that was pretty much on XW. Our last major one was last New Years, but she shelled up, wish she ahdn't we'd probably not be D'd, but I've said over and over, I think we needed to be in order to get, well, here.