As I said... I didn't reach this conclusion overnight and it wasn't until I had an actual nervous breakdown from the stress and anxiety that I finally started using my brain.
This situation has been going on for almost two years so things are not quite as fresh for me anymore. If you could read my journals from that first year you probably would never guess it was me that penned such entries.
My life changed the day I spent 12 hours pacing my apartment unable to breath or even function. I thought I was hiding my anxiety so well but I wasn't. My mom came over and said she didn't care if I hated her for the rest of my life but I had two choices and if I did not choose she would choose for me. Choice one was allow her to take me to the dr. that minute or choice two was she was taking me to the hospital. By this point I weighed under 100 pounds, I was in very bad shape due to my Lupus and my anxiety was actually diagnosed as a situational panic disorder. I was a true mess of a person so stuck, so riddled with pain and anxiety I wanted to go to sleep and never wake up. I didn't leave my house for months and became terrified of normal things (walking my dog, getting the mail).
So, many wonder why I keep talking with Keven when clearly it doesn't work. That is why. For almost 18 months nobody gave up on me.. not my divorce support group, not my family or friends even though I would not listen. I put myself through a horrid ordeal and it would have been 10 times more horrible had everybody given up on me since what they tried to do for 1.5 years "didn't work".
