Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Follow your lawyer's advice one that one, SD.

I've been reading everything, but didn't want to add on since you're getting so much good advice. fwiw, SD, my position with BIL would be this:

"BIL, I'm so horribly sad for everything that is going on. I've been advised not to discuss this with anyone, and all I can tell you -- and you're going to have to trust me on this -- is that the truth will come out in due time. I HAVE NEVER LIED TO YOU, you know that, and I never will. The truth will come out, and you will eventually understand why I'm having to protect myself."

I told my in-laws something similar, altho my situation was a little different. The point is, there is a way to "keep mum" legally, while also showing your honesty and sincerity, I believe, IF this is a person of character (and it sounds like he is).

Have a safe flight. You and my family are HARD in my prayers, SD. Godspeed. You are doing well, considering.

Puppy

[Gnosis]

Please see the edit in my previous post.

during the TRO hearing on Wednesday, if her L starts trying to make me look like a bad guy, should I bring out the proof of the OM?

You let your lawyer handle that. This is what you hired him/her for. Make him divulge his strategy for the hearing. Make sure he's a bad-ass beforehand. If he's not, get another one. Not all lawyers are the same.

[SoldierDad]

Puppy,
Thank you so much. I wrote him a really nice letter, and he completely understood, and wished me luck. W didn't leave message, but did call twice. Could there be trouble in paradise? Is the fog shifting? Probably not, she probably called to get flight info. No worries.

I'm sure it was flight info-I almost forgot-their plan is to have me served when I get off the plane!!! Uh, oh ruined those plans-well, at least until Wednesday!!!

[Gnosis]

LOL SD, I just realized what a cunning SOB I must sound like... Oops!

[Gnosis]

OK, W just called me, twice. I did not answer. Will wait to see if she left message.

And you won't answer... let her taste her own medicine.

[TrentC]

Ok, another question.
during the TRO hearing on Wednesday, if her L starts trying to make me look like a bad guy, should I bring out the proof of the OM? I spoke to my L briefly about it, and he said it might be helpful if it starts to go bad, but if I do that, I lose whatever leverage with my W that i had-Thoughts?

I would go with your lawyer's recommendation; I think it's best if you can get that TRO squashed so you can see your kids.

At some point you have to set the boundary regarding not living in an open marriage. By then, she will have to know that you have proof of the affair. (Assuming she doesn't hear about it from the OM giving her the heave-ho.)

[SoldierDad]

Ya, I guarantee it was about my flight info and the divorce papers. Well, a small victory for SD.

[SoldierDad]

Trent, I think the latest OM will know, is sometime Monday morning. After that, all bets are off. I will speak to my L, and see where it goes.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

You want a "small" victory SD?

Here's your victory: For many, many months, your wife has been planning on how this is all going to go down. In ONE WEEK, you have spoiled those plans, and have gone on the offensive.

Affairus interruptus, my brutha man -- makes for a peaceful flight, no??

You are a MAN, and like most man, you've been having a really hard time with the "schmuck factor." You want HER to know that YOU know, and that you're not an idiot!! Right?

Well, you have a plan. And your plan ruins HER plans. She just doesn't know any of that yet. And doesn't that make it just a little bit sweeter, if you can just defer your gratification a little bit??

Enjoy those boys.

Puppy

[SoldierDad]

Puppy,
you know just what to say, and when. Like a good dog should!

I am starting to feel empowered. I will feel even better when OM has been notified by his COC, to cease and desist with my W. I won't be there, I won't know what is said, but I know that reality is getting ready to smack this A right in the A$$.