It was a learning experience indeed. MUCH of my pain, anxiety and anguish could have been avoided had I enforced the boundaries I tried to set early on. I have nobody to blame but myself for that.
Looking back it was such a vicious circle. Prior to the bomb, for our whole marriage actually, if I was upset or had certain feelings I tried to express to my H he would ALWAYS tell me NOT to feel that way. When he said (that night I just posted about) that he knew I didn't really mean what I said about the key and him not coming in I seriously saw red. Once again he was telling me what I thought and what I meant and stupid me, instead of setting and enforcing more aggressive boundaries I tolerated it and actually validated his bad behavior by allowing it to continue. On my part that was all me and self inflicted pain because I refused to listen to people that actually had mastered the technique of setting boundaries.
