1) You're trying to rationalize the irrational. It won't get you anywhere except banging your head on a table or against a wall.
2) My BF said the same things. In Sept we were looking for a vacation condo in the mountains and by October he was miserable and had been for five years. When he came back I questioned him, if he had been so miserable for so long then why come back? He said it wasn't true, but at that time he didn't see any way our problems could be solved so he was justifying his behavior and the affair. So it could be that your W just sees no way to improve your marriage so she is rewriting history to justify her decision to leave.
But since you won't get an honest answer from her right now, back to point 1.
Well put PH.
Last comment, not a question. It is sad and disappointing that my W sees no other option AND refuses even to discuss/explore the possibility of reconciliation with a MC. If I am so sure of my position, I know it is unshakable, so I should have NO fear in it being questioned. That, coupled with she has NOTHING to lose by engaging in MC.
