I am really disgusted with myself...I called in sick today because I just cannot cope any more. I can't believe that I am letting all of these feelings of being unwanted and unloved mess up all of the other parts of my life.
No sex this weekend because "I" didn't do anything. Well, I'm sick and tired of nothing happening because "I" don't start things off. Doesn't a woman (or a man, for that matter) deserve to feel desired, loved, and wanted by their spouse AND know those feelings exist because their spouse cared enough to demonstrate those feelings?
My H doesn't care enough to show me those things. I know he loves me BUT has no desire (no pun intended) to express feelings in a sexual way. I just can't figure out why...people don't run away screaming when I'm out in public. It feels so awful to realize that you must be so horrible that your own H can't stand to touch you. I don't need a counselor to tell me what I already know.
I'm about 99.9% sure that I'm ready to just walk away from this. I love him yet I hate the way he is making me feel about myself.
