In my sitch, my does not say "abuse" but she does point to me being critical, opinionated, absent, etc as the cause - unforgivable and tantamaount to abuse.
And that's EXACTLY what I'm getting at. I suspect my W sees herself as a victim of what she perceives as some form of abuse. Maybe, to her, I too often wasn't responsible enough, was too demanding of ML, was short with my comments, did not open up to her enough, and the list could go on.
Was I perfect? Of course not. There are NO perfect M's.
I just find it difficult to see and understand how she can (a) come to such a conclusion (victim of abuse) and (b) believe it so firmly that she will leave the M and our family. No boo hoo'ing here. Just working through the issue.
PS: My W does not say the word "abuse", she just says she understands how a victim of abuse feels and can identify with them.
