Perhaps you spoke too quickly on this one. By making that comment it is as if you spoke for two people when you are only one. Do you know with absolute certainty that she would answer exactly the same as you and completely dismiss any existence of abuse. I feel pretty sure that most of us guys immediately 'knee-jerk' to think in terms of physical abuse. Why? Because we tend to be the physically wired ones and so I think that causes us to normally dismiss any other forms of abuse.
I get your point Tom, but I am not underestimating or excluding the chance (probability, really) that my W sees herself as a victimof what she perceives as verbal abuse or some other non-physical form of "abuse." And I don't deny that verbal abuse is abuse. Being as objective as I can, though, I just don't see it in my sitch as actuallly having occured. Her perception, however, is another matter entirely.
In my sitch, my does not say "abuse" but she does point to me being critical, opinionated, absent, etc as the cause - unforgivable and tantamaount to abuse.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
