feel like giving up - talk to me!

[mindfull]

Luv - You're up early!

We're off to a bball tourney all weekend, so I won't be checking in much, but hang in there, friend!

Anything good planned for the weekend?

[soleil]

Luv,

Have your kids called H on it or said anything directly to you about it? I don't have children but I can't imagine what that must be like...

I'm not gonna act as if I'll die cuz he doesn't notice or talk to me.

This is the way to be. Eventually the script will flip and HE will be the one thinking, What is going on in her head and not the other way around. Victory!!!

I was just telling my best friend these mind games are so immature. I love my H but I'm starting to see him as very unattractive.

It IS immature and of course you will not find him attractive while he's doing this. It's only logical. How on earth would you be drawn to someone who is acting like a stranger?

If I come out of this - I don't know how I will get rid of all the resentment he has caused me

I've seen you mention "resentment" a few times before and just wanted to say that it makes sense. When someone repeatedly hurts you, your good feelings for them tend to go away. Everyone has a different experience in this life but I will say to you that your sitch hits very close to home with me because the silent treatment and someone coming home without saying Hello to you day in and day out, sulking, will eventually eat you up, no matter who you are. I don't buy that " you allow someone to treat you bad" because who the hell wants to be treated badly? Especially when you've called someone out on their bad behavior & told them it's unacceptable and they've continued to do it? It's not like an acquaintance you're dealing with and can brush off... It is your SPOUSE. Ugh.

So anyway, back to "resentment"--I started to resent my H earlier this year when I could see the hot and cold was a pattern, not something that happened every blue moon. I had even pin-pointed when his "shut down" would occur (roughly every 2 months) and during these times, it felt like I was literally losing my mind, so painful. I think what happens is we start to lose our "emotional safety" with people when they do things like this. And ever since I started feeling this way toward him, I have never been able to erase it, I am sad to say.

For instance, we went out on Sunday, had a great time, but two days later I am still remembering how cold and alone I felt when he'd do his "cold" time... Wish I had better words of advice for you but just wanted to tell you that I get where you are coming from w/ regards to the resentment. It's like, how much can I build up happiness for you again just so you can break it/me back down? Does that make sense?

Cutter, those song lyrics are lovely.

[Gnosis]

Hey Luv, thanks for all the support and prayers yesterday.

I'm still watching and I've been biting my tongue because I've been waiting for your daily SIX things... [Gno piles on as much virtual pressure as he can]

[luvless]

I feel for you sol - I hate to say I understand you completely. My H only repeats his pattern every 3-4 yrs so I can't imagine 2 months It's just plain abuse.

You make perfect sense. Thank you for letting me know your side and how you are coping. I am grateful for every response or piece of advice I'm getting.

I want so bad to detach. I think I'm going to start. I'm still in the sad phase hoping the mad phase comes soon!

[soleil]

I feel for you sol - I hate to say I understand you completely.

We can be two peas in a very dysfuncational pod!

I'm still in the sad phase hoping the mad phase comes soon!

The mad phase will come. Believe me. The more he acts like a ding dong, the more resentment will build, then out like fireworks will come the Mad Phase. And it ain't pretty!

Go about your business, look like the hot lady you are! Do you hair really nice today and put on your favorite perfume. Even if you only go to get the newspaper, you will feel tons better

[luvless]

My super G -

I'm sorry to report a bad attitude this morning. I don't feel like doing anything "fun." I'm so tired - I haven't slept in a week. I have this headache that doesn't go away.

I don't want to sulk (wish I had my sister and best friend here) they both moved to the east coast couple years ago

I'm going to try to sleep then I'll get on the treadmill. I'm dreading the weekend but I will do my best to put on the happy face - ugh

My H told me 'he needs space and is not happy' so I guess I'm not happy either!!

luvLESS

[mindfull]

Luv! I'm going for a martini lunch! I'll pick you up!

[TrentC]

My super G -

I'm sorry to report a bad attitude this morning. I don't feel like doing anything "fun." I'm so tired - I haven't slept in a week. I have this headache that doesn't go away.

Have you talked to someone about depression yet?

[Gnosis]

(((( LuvMORE ))))
^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ is your attitude from now on.

Look forward to the weekend. Go and do some shopping. Check out the stores. Have fun. Stay away from H and let him pursue you if he wants.

This might be short notice for now, but next weekend have plans. Girls night out to a comedy club or something. Pick the friends you are going to go out with. B*tchathons are prohibited at this stage of the game.

Hey, senora... spice it up a bit! Be the chikita and leave the H to baby sit. You have plans!

[luvless]

Trent - I'm not depressed just sad that my H may not love me anymore lol jeez

I'm working through this it's only been about a month I've been dealing with this so gotta give me some bad days.

Thank you for reading my posts and commenting. I appreciate the input.