Still Wandering

[TrentC]

She agreed to support and respect my open marriage boundary in MC today.

MC will continue weekly and she said that we have to much time invested in our marriage to end it at this point. Future transparency will need to be establish in order for her to regain my trust and she knows I don't trust her right now but she can't undertsand why. I stated the facts as evidence.

She definitely confirmed that QT is her LL. I've planned a dinner date for us tonight.

What are the next DB steps?

You sound like you're on the right track. I'm happy for you!

I'm going to shamelessly poach these comments from MWD over in the Piecing forum:

"1. The first Golden Rule, "Do real giving" talks about the importance of doing to others what others would have done unto them, a definite twist on the real Golden Rule. What do you think about this?

2. The second Golden Rule, "Don't forget to laugh," reminds you about the importance of humor in marriage. Can you think of a time when you solved a marital problem by using your sense of humor?

3. The third Golden Rule, "Listen to each other," reminds you about the importance of putting aside your commentaries, reactions, and defensiveness and just simply acknowledging your partner's point of view. What do you think about this idea?

4. The fourth Golden Rule, "Live by the stranger standard," discusses the importance of treating your spouse at least as well as you might a complete stranger. What do you think about this?

5. The fifth Golden Rule, "Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself," emphasizes the vast benefits of letting go and forgiving your partner. Do you find it difficult to forgive your partner when you feel wronged? What methods have you found helpful to move you beyond a lack of forgiveness? You can re-read the article I wrote on forgiveness, if that will help.