Over the Shock and GALing 6

[Thinker]

Keep it up. She'll ask.
Greek

Actually, I think in both GIMA's and my sitches, that isn't correct. What we have both found is that our W's continue to act as if it doesn't bother them and they don't say anything - until it surfaces much later in an R discussion as the example of the latest reason why the R will never work and the M is all our fault.

If we have been distant - "See, you are just not an affectionate person"

If we have been angry - "See, you are a moody, resentful person. I just can't live with that any more"

If we have been refraining from helping them with their issues or from being a fully supportive spouse (ie GIMA's decision not to visit FIL) - "See, you are an inconsiderate, selfish person and this M can therefore never work"

I have lost these discussions every time they occur, as my does not seem to view what I am doing as a consequence of the M sitch, but instead as an example of the cause of the M sitch.

GIMA, your input?

It does, nowever, appear to be a very effective method of keeping the LBS in line - it's been working with me.