Gnosis, I will get a lawyer, I have to get on the ground first, and then start my search on Monday. Between then, and now, I would like to see my children. I don't think it is too much to ask from my W. I will hire an attorney, ASAP. W had already told me that she was dropping them off at the airport along with my truck. I am not sure that is still in effect. I just want to see my boys.
"embrace the suck" - Coach "don't go all "Melty Man" on us" - Puppy Let Go and Let God Finally "Got It" - 15 Jan 2010
Coach, all, my only concern now is... that since my W is getting a rest. order, that she has plans to keep my boys away from me. I am concerned that when I phone her and give her my flight data, she will not have them there, and I will be there alone. But, I have a plan in place if that happens, my friend went to dallas, and left his car at the airport, so I have a ride and place to stay. But I am very concerned that W won't take my boys to greet me, and then will shield them from me until Wednesday, when the restraining order goes into effect, and then I won't get to see them at all. Thoughts?
When you call her? SD ~~~ you are NOT going to call her. Look, I know you want to see the boys and I hope you will but not by calling her. Don't make decisions that have long range implications based on a short term feeling. In other words, if she keeps the boys from you this two weeks, she cannot keep them from you forever - so it's temporary. However, if you get on the phone with her - and you KNOW how that's going to go - that could have long term effects for you.
I know how much you love your boys. But you need to a lawyer more than anything right now...so you can keep those boys in the future.
Your boys are more important than anything. But getting a L is pertinent and urgent.
TCB! Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
SD, the basic logistical necessities need focus and it looks like you are following up on the important ones listed here.
I think you had your first major dip on the rollercoaster. That soul eating experience of wanting to make some sense of your W's behaviour - many of us have been there.
Be prepared for more ups and downs, especially when you first see your kids and W. It's normal and to be expected. As others have posted, do not do anything you are unsure of, and definitely avoid confrontations, revelations of intel etc during these times.
Will remember you and your kids in my thoughts. Stay strong.
Me 42 W 39 Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992 First Bomb: Sep 2007 Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007 Kids: D10, S5 Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak. 3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.
Just got this, and i am on phone w/a potential atty. H, I already called my attorney first thing this morning and let her know accusations of an alleged affair and threats to my life H, if you do not stop threatening me I will take the appropriate actions to keep you away from me and my boys. I don't care anymore what you think of me you can believe whatever you want just because I talk to a guy and do to my job I talk to many soldiers does not mean I'm having an affair. And if I wanted to be with someone you can't stop me you don't own me, we are not together anymore If wanted I could see whomever and do whatever I want if I chose to, I don't need your permission. My boys are taken care of no thanks to you... So you can do whatever you want H you can't hurt me anymore.
Get on with your life we are getting divorced so leave me alone.
What is THIS???
BTW, I did NOT threaten her in any fashion I PROMISE.
OMG the hits just keep coming from her. The atty I am talking to says that the affair isn't that big of a deal. But the Sodlier will get in trouble.
Last edited by SoldierDad; 12/11/0904:31 PM.
"embrace the suck" - Coach "don't go all "Melty Man" on us" - Puppy Let Go and Let God Finally "Got It" - 15 Jan 2010
Just got this, and i am on phone w/a potential atty. H, I already called my attorney first thing this morning and let her know accusations of an alleged affair and threats to my life H, if you do not stop threatening me I will take the appropriate actions to keep you away from me and my boys.
BTW, I did NOT threaten her in any fashion I PROMISE.
Oh, Soldier. ::Hugs:: She is playing SOOOO dirty right now! I am soooo sorry that you're going through this.
Take a deep breath.
DO NOT WRITE HER BACK. DO NOT CONTACT HER.
(Save any/all emails from her cause at this point you are going to need to very much so).
Let it go. And if there is anyway you can get to the airport and get a cab or a ride from someone else, do it.
I strongly advise not getting in a car with her at any point in time.
Get on with your life we are getting divorced so leave me alone.
What is THIS???
That's the alien talking. She's so deep in the fog that she's saying anything and everything to try to make you go away.
Originally Posted By: SoldierDad
BTW, I did NOT threaten her in any fashion I PROMISE.
No reason to assume you did -- but this is another reason why you need to slow down and start dealing with this stuff with a cool, level head.
No contact with her at all; let your lawyer and the chain of command do the talking for you.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
Just got this, and i am on phone w/a potential atty. H, I already called my attorney first thing this morning and let her know accusations of an alleged affair and threats to my life H, if you do not stop threatening me I will take the appropriate actions to keep you away from me and my boys.
BTW, I did NOT threaten her in any fashion I PROMISE.
Oh, Soldier. ::Hugs:: She is playing SOOOO dirty right now! I am soooo sorry that you're going through this.
Take a deep breath.
DO NOT WRITE HER BACK. DO NOT CONTACT HER.
(Save any/all emails from her cause at this point you are going to need to very much so).
Let it go. And if there is anyway you can get to the airport and get a cab or a ride from someone else, do it.
I strongly advise not getting in a car with her at any point in time.
Sorry, but maybe it's the L in me, but I disagree. I WOULD respond, but only to say (a) I did not threaten your life or threaten you in any way and have no idea what you are talking about and (b) I will be taking action to protect myself. Very business like and to the point. Nothing more.
My concern is that not responding might be argued to be an admission - You did not dispute it.
Once you respond, then leave her alone.
AND, write the response with the idea that a judge WILL read it at your hearing.
