I agree, making these changes is one of the hardest things any of us will ever do in our lives. And I also loved my husband of ten years very much.
We can only learn from ourselves and the experiences of others. I wish to the high heavens I would have worked on making small changes (and I am speaking about how I dealt with my WAS in an affair) daily instead of waiting for one big change to happen.
Had I done that I may have not become so ill and my life could have been better a long time ago.
I learned in the very hardest way that if you make small changes daily/weekly instead of waiting for one BIG sweeping change to happen (and they usually never do) you will get stronger and stronger and be less vulnerable to the crap a WAS pulls.
I could write novels about what my WAS did but instead I choose to focus on what *I* can do, for me and my present and future.
Nobody has to listen to anybody.. message boards are set up to be conversational with free flowing opinions and viewpoints. I learn so much from reading other threads and maybe every once in a while what I post can spark an idea for somebody.
