Taken on it's own, I think S5's statement was an overreaction to what H said. But.... I expect it is because of other things that H has been saying. In this instance, I think saying he would come by when you were not there would be because he is uncomfortable when you are there. Like I said I think S5's statement comes from other things he has heard.
I worry that your H only has his own interests in mind, and not the kids. In the end, I think he will be exposed, but with a 5 year old it is hard. It would be good if there was someone to tell him the kids feel like a part of both parents, and it hurts them to to have either parent run down the other.
Taken on it's own, I think S5's statement was an overreaction to what H said. But.... I expect it is because of other things that H has been saying. In this instance, I think saying he would come by when you were not there would be because he is uncomfortable when you are there. Like I said I think S5's statement comes from other things he has heard.
I worry that your H only has his own interests in mind, and not the kids. In the end, I think he will be exposed, but with a 5 year old it is hard. It would be good if there was someone to tell him the kids feel like a part of both parents, and it hurts them to to have either parent run down the other.
I agree, he is reacting to other things H has said. When H first left, he told the kids he left because of me. The girls know better, but S5 is so young and impressionable.
Exposed how?
I am about to drop it down on him. I was willing to be somewhat reasonable with him, but messing with my kids' minds to just too much! That's where I can get evil. He's b!tching about the 3k in CS. Just effing wait you selfish b@stard! If he doesn't set this straight with the kids, and tell them he left because he chose to, I am really going to put the screws to him.
He asked me to help him get the kids to visit, and I have. I have said nothing but encouraging, supportive things about him, even though it nearly kills me. When D10 started calling him by his first name, I told her she wouldn't be allowed to disrespect her father. When I asked if she wanted him to pick her up this weekend, and she said "he can pick up my cardboard cut out because I want nothing to do with him", I got after her and told her that her father loves her.
I can't see cooling down in another 24 hours, but I'll try.
Have a minty double chocolate chip frappaccino. Does wonders.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
That does sound good, and right now, I think I could use it.
New developments...
The school counselor called, but I missed her call. I asked D11 what the counselor wanted. D11 said she broke down crying in one of her classes. She said she feels guilty because she hates her father. I assured her that she doesn't hate her father, and that this will get a little better as time passes. I told her we would settle into a routine, and things would normalize a little.
I sent H a text and let him know about D11. This was something, that I thought he had a right to know, so be gentle with me.
Anyway... H says...I guess we should have tried to work things out between us instead of getting lawyers, huh?
Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.?!?!? Has he gone mad?
I replied...I offered counseling. You said no. We have both moved on to better things. We need to stand united for the kids, though. They didn't ask for this, and it's our job to make sure they survive it.
Very ugly morning. H was a bigger ass than usual. He re-routed a nuch of money into another account, so I had no choice but to bring out the big guns.
I had my appointment with the AG, and H will be subpoenaed into court soon for a wage attachment.
This is the kind of thing I wanted to avoid. It won't be pretty, and it only hurts the kids. I can't keep being decent, though. He tries to f*** me over at every opportunity.
I'll spend the next 2 days deciding if I want to file or wait for him to do it. I am way over him. I can't see myself ever trusting him again.
Definitely protect you and the kids. If you have to have the money forced from him, so be it.
I know you say you are over him. But I would hold off a bit on filing and see if this forced money starts to turn him around a bit after he gets over the initial reaction of anger about it.
Just my 2 cents.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Kevin, the man changed his direct deposit, and left me with $44. He can turn around all he wants, but I'm done. I can't imagine finding anything good about him again. He can screw me over, but now he's messing with the kids.
