K4D Rising #4

[K4D]

I think you missed my point or I didn't express it in a clear fashion. You can get excited about whatever you want but the way you express yourself (at least in writing, via this message board medium) comes across as very childlike.

I see your point.

To be blunt, you are a grown man and your W left you and has had multiple affairs. To be excited about spending a day with a woman that has zero respect for you, bosses you around and only is nice to you when she needs something is beyond my understanding. Honestly, I don't get being excited about a phone for several days but that is just me. I don't think you were so much excited about your phone, you were excited your W was showing interest in something you had.

I was actually excited about my phone, but also excited about showing it to her. I don’t know why I was excited about showing her either. It really makes no logical sense to be excited about showing something to someone that treats me this way.

Your W likes to be in control. When she doesn't get her way she stomps her feet and acts like a first class b*tch. This is where you can really change the dynamic but I think you are afraid of ticking her off and she knows that so her b*tchy behavior continues. You set one boundary, she doesn't like it so you just drop it. You still seem to be in the mindset that setting boundaries will make things worse as far as the M goes but they will make things better for YOU.

Setting boundaries seems to mean avoiding her and moving on with my life without her in it until she decides to have a change of heart. Is this right?

Stop sharing anything with her unless it has to do with parenting. I really don't know how else to advise you.

For the most part, I really don’t share anything with her outside of parenting. I just did with the phone.

Three days before T-day my H texted me thanking me for a pkg of documents I sent him. I ignored him and did not respond. On T-day he texted me wishing me a happy T-day which I also ignored and did not respond to. About 10 days ago he came by to pick up his flatscreen tv which I put in the hall and was kind enough to stand out there with the tv until he arrived. He was so rude it was almost comical. I smiled and was as happy as ever, made no small talk and once the tv was safely in his possession I told him to have a fantastic night, smiled at him like I was in a toothpaste commercial and went inside. I have not heard from him since. OH WELL!

I have zero interest in his obligatory holiday texts. He is no longer part of my life, my family nor is he my friend. The night before our separation became final he called me begging me to trust him, he would never turn his back on me again and he was going to "make this right". LOL! WAS script at its finest. One holiday text hardly is "making things right" and he is the master at BS and he and I BOTH know it.

He wanted out of the M well he got it. Nobody gets both. The loyal and loving LBS and the GF on the side. Your W shouldn't get both either.

I guess I have allowed her to have both to much. I see all of your points.

Kevin