whoops, wish I would have seen these before I responded to W. I looked at SO2's post and went ahead and responded. Great. 2X4 needed.
Kevin
LOL I told you I am the wrong person to listen to! I am the classic doormat in recovery!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Dinner meetings with recruiters are not strange at all. Most recruiters know that it can be difficult for potential candidates to take time off work to be woo'd and are more than happy to meet them after hours. Recruiters are paid big bucks to close a deal and will meet when it's best for the candidate so they can make their commission.
Don't speculate. She may be telling the truth or she may be lying. WHO CARES? What irks me is she was not very helpful to you last night when you had to work late yet the VERY NEXT DAY you cancel something that is important to you to help her w/a work issue. You are still doing things for her she is unwilling to do for you. In fact, she doesn't even give it a second thought unless it benefits her.
I am bumping my appointment with my priest up to 6pm tonight so I will have time to go get D7 and take her to the house with D12.
I am trying to work with her because I do realize that I need her assistance some nights when I have to work late.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Exactly CG. Kev you are the only one that can STOP yourself from being an ENABLER. Then again. Maybe you cant. Maybe you CANT CONTROL YOURSELF OR YOUR EMOTIONAL REACTIONS. Maybe that is why all of us have suggested GETTING HELP.
Did you understand the story of the flood metaphor?
Okay, you asked. This is why I view as childlike. You W IM'd you and you asked how to handle it. Fine. We all need some suggestions from time to time on how to deal with a WAS.
IMO you should have waited at least an hour before you responded. Once again she disturbed you at work and didn't even offer you an apology for doing so. You jumped at the chance to do her a favor when she was clearly unwilling to do the same favor for you LAST NIGHT!
By waiting an hour or so to respond a few things could have happened... (A) she would see you don't jump when she contacts you especially while you are at work (B) you would have read the varied opinions on how to handle this and perhaps done things different and (C) perhaps she would have wondered why you took so long to respond.
It's a Friday night and you are a single man. In the future tell your W if she needs a favor on a night you are not scheduled to have the children, especially a WEEKEND night, you require advance notice as your child free weekends are jammed pack.
I would also tell her that she is not to disturb you at work unless there is a true emergency with the children.
It is not complicated, I agree 110%. That being said for Kevin it is complicated as he always caves to his W and her demands or favors.
I have been posting here since April of 2009 and reading for several months before I began posting. Kevin's threads are very active and long and I could be mistaken (and please pardon me if I am) but in the time I have been following Kevin's threads I have seen him stand up to his W one time. It seems, based on my interpretation of his posts that when it comes to his W nothing is simple for him.
