I think you missed my point or I didn't express it in a clear fashion. You can get excited about whatever you want but the way you express yourself (at least in writing, via this message board medium) comes across as very childlike.
To be blunt, you are a grown man and your W left you and has had multiple affairs. To be excited about spending a day with a woman that has zero respect for you, bosses you around and only is nice to you when she needs something is beyond my understanding. Honestly, I don't get being excited about a phone for several days but that is just me. I don't think you were so much excited about your phone, you were excited your W was showing interest in something you had.
Your W likes to be in control. When she doesn't get her way she stomps her feet and acts like a first class b*tch. This is where you can really change the dynamic but I think you are afraid of ticking her off and she knows that so her b*tchy behavior continues. You set one boundary, she doesn't like it so you just drop it. You still seem to be in the mindset that setting boundaries will make things worse as far as the M goes but they will make things better for YOU.
Stop sharing anything with her unless it has to do with parenting. I really don't know how else to advise you.
Three days before T-day my H texted me thanking me for a pkg of documents I sent him. I ignored him and did not respond. On T-day he texted me wishing me a happy T-day which I also ignored and did not respond to. About 10 days ago he came by to pick up his flatscreen tv which I put in the hall and was kind enough to stand out there with the tv until he arrived. He was so rude it was almost comical. I smiled and was as happy as ever, made no small talk and once the tv was safely in his possession I told him to have a fantastic night, smiled at him like I was in a toothpaste commercial and went inside. I have not heard from him since. OH WELL!
I have zero interest in his obligatory holiday texts. He is no longer part of my life, my family nor is he my friend. The night before our separation became final he called me begging me to trust him, he would never turn his back on me again and he was going to "make this right". LOL! WAS script at its finest. One holiday text hardly is "making things right" and he is the master at BS and he and I BOTH know it.
He wanted out of the M well he got it. Nobody gets both. The loyal and loving LBS and the GF on the side. Your W shouldn't get both either.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I will respond to your post in just a second. I just wanted to get this out and get an opinion real quick.
W just IM'd me asking if I could pick up D7 since she has to stay late tonight and then is meeting a recruiter after. I have my appointment with my priest tonight.
Should I tell her no? She has watched my kids a few times for me now.
Not sure what action to take.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
When it comes to your kids, I would always say yes if you possibly can. Can you reschedule your priest appointment?
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Hi W, I appreciate your dilemma but I also have an appt. tonight that I really cannot miss that has been scheduled for some time now. Let me know what solution you come up with and I will do my best to help if I am able.
Did your W tell you should would be staying late at work tonight or did she just find out this morning? Funny how she griped at you for having to stay late and you told her ahead of time but she still wanting you to drop everything for her to be social. Now the shoe is on the other foot - she needs your assistance for HER JOB and she expects you to give it to her. Y'day when you needed her assistance for YOUR JOB she wasn't all that nice.
Don't take any action. Let her figure it out. Let her know you will be available to assist her AFTER your appt. That is what I would do.
Are you available or not? Sounds to me like you have plans already.
Perfect time to start setting those boundaries dont you think?
Your daughter will be fine either way.
Stop being your WAW's Beotch!
Ok, very true! Don't listen to me, I have a huge bootmark on my forehead. You do have plans. You don't have to say what they are.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I can reschedule it. I went ahead and told her I would get the girls for her so she can work late and meet with her recruiter. Interesting that she always seems to meet with recruiters at night. That is just a little strange.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
whoops, wish I would have seen these before I responded to W. I looked at SO2's post and went ahead and responded. Great. 2X4 needed.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
