h is in mlc, now threatening divorce...

[Gnosis]

(((lost)))

I'm glad he was there for you in your time of crisis. This says a lot about him.

I need to update my sitch first and get myself grounded once again.

Here's something for you to consider:
- There was an emergency
- Your H responded and came through for you
- After saving the day, "he was himself"

See the pattern here? ^ ^ ^ ^

Look at what you've written about him:
- tries to keep up with responsibilites but has a difficult time
- tries to be dad and h but simply cant

All of the below is only applicable if there is no OW:

He feels like he's a constant failure. Everything he does is wrong and can do no right.

I'm not sure how long you've been NC... if it's been too long, its time to change...

When he starts to feel useful and valued he will start withdrawing from his shell. Start him off with small and simple tasks to do. Praise him when he does them. Be understanding when he fails and "make up the excuse" for him. Give him something to live up to and increase the tasks.

Unfortunately, right now his self-esteem is at an all time low and he doesn't know how to or cannot do anything to get himself out of the hole. You have to do give him a hand in doing it.

Please take the above advice with a bit of common sense because I cannot recall your entire story. If it does not gel with you, trust your gut. I'm shooting from the hip here.