Thanks guys and girls. I think I have to be realstic at this point. The only thing I've been thinking about is, if there is a way to shake him up, somehow. The only way I see is filing but honestly I hate the idea of filing to "teach him" something... K He didnt call at all of course...
Hey M, I understand what you are saying about not being a game player and not a yes man at work either, I am the same. My Mum told me to be more the femme fatale when we were separated and I had to really try to act like that and I think it helped, but theres no way I would do that now we are back together and I dont think you should either. And you shouldnt HAVE to do that, he decided he wanted back, didnt he?
I agree with SandyCay, maybe there are not reasons or excuses, perhaps he doesnt do these things because its just not him. Perhaps he wanted to do/get something right, or great, but basically ran out of time, or forgot to organise it until it was too late (he works days and nights right?). No time for life.
I'm interested as to WHY he decided to do nothing, as far as I can tell, you didnt get to the bottom of that one. Would seem crucial, why didnt he? What stopped him? It cant be because YOU didnt do anything, the onus is on the one that did the betrayal right. I think you didnt pursue his reasoning because you just got upset and angry at him and then he didnt call back, right? I am curious though.
Like I said, I dont think you should file to teach him, only do it if you genuinely are done with him and are calm. Dont say it in reaction to your hurt and anger?
I'm sorry, a year on and you are still waiting for him to crack open. xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Please expunge my prior post comments about seeing positives.
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All I got was a general "Happy years" for me and D. And last year the C told him he SHOULD do something and had agreed he f@cked up...
I cry foul. The guy has a long term PA, claims it's over, doesn't open up emails, passwords.... supposedly wants back in and the dorkelhose doesn't even get her a g-ddarn flower?
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He had the guts to ask me why didnt I do something. I told him, my committement to this M is not questioned and that I have done something only he would need to spend with me a few minutes to actually see it. I was hoping he would. He didnt.
(wiping off the barf) What's the phrase, "doing the work to save the M?". C'mon...this is horse hockey....
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I hung up the phone because I was breaking down in tears. AFter I told him we should plan for seperate Christmas...
kalni, I"m sorry....weiner, wuss, loser, whatever the words are, I think it's time for a change. I think it's time to find someone who appreciates you. I think it's time to stop living in hurt...
I'm sorry.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
john....Kalni needs to come over here and 'get roughed up' a bit. I think she's forgotten some things....lolol. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I'm sorry. The more I read, the more I think he is not "in". Putting on his ring would be so easy, and a clear symbol.... but no. And never sending the "no contact" letter, again, if it's what he wanted, he could do it. Letting the anniversary pass with three words of acknowledgement AFTER having a significant discussion about with the C last year. He can't say he didn't know it was important to you!
When he said he wanted you, he agreed to a few things, and as far as I can see he has done none of them. He hasn't made time for you and the kids, he hasn't done a thing about work, no letter, no ring, no passwords, and now no recognition. I'm having a lot of trouble seeing the positives in this.
You know, I wouldn't be at all shocked if there was another A going on... sorry to say. His behaviors seem really similar to what they were then, at least from here. In any case, I don't see him changing anything until you do, and maybe not even then. I'm with you on your plan.
