here we go again

[Jstar]

I do and i don't want to talk to him. i don't want to hear nothing but excuses and why he can't do this and why he can't do that.

I am in lrt, there is NO contact on my part at all, when he does call or text i ignore it, don't acknowledge it nothing. not that he calls often, usually once a week maybe twice. last time he tried being nice asking how my day was going so far and i just ignored it.

i have not actively pursued a D, all that is going to do is free me from any financial mishaps he does, i won't get child support and i do want my marriage to work out.

i feel like i'm at a standstill. i in a way want to come out of the dark but would not even know where to begin. i also feel that since he was the one to leave he needs to do some stepping up.

i thought this morning on way to work, maybe he will just go away all together, not pursue anything, he'll look up 3 months from now and be oh i guess my son is born. i really don't want that to happen. i would like him to be there as a reconciled or on the way work in progress reconciliation family.

honestly i don't know how to get rid of all the anger and resentment i have for him, him choices etc. i will write it down as you suggested and hope that some of it goes away.

trying to look for positive things from him, WOW, with no contact, no nothing i don't think there is anything positive other then my stress level lowered.