You are getting some great advice. Please listen and, more importantly, FOLLOW IT. Right now, you are in no position emotionally to make tough decisions.
On the restraining order hearing, is that something through the military courts or is it in your state court? If in the state court, there is a Federal act (which you probably know about) called the Soldiers and Sailors Relief Act that prevents lawsuits against our military folks while they are on active duty. It sounds, though that you are coming back home for 2 weeks, so it may not apply.
I would strongly recommend you retain a L asap when you get back. You do not want to handle the hearing without representation. I am a trial lawyer. In my 15 years of practice, I have NEVER seen an unrepresented party do well against a represented party.
I know you don't feel like it now, but strategically, you are in a good place. Don't blow it by tipping your hand right now. She will find out you know she's lying at a time and place of YOUR choosing and when it will benefit you and your boys most. That has to be your focus right now along with letting the emotions you have run their course.
I'm pulling for you and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Keep your head up. You will find strength through this process you never knew was possible.
