Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

[SoldierDad]

More wonderful news!!!! I just re-checked the county web page, and guess what?? She has a hearing for a restraining order against me for Wed the 16th!!! The hits just keep on comin'!!! What else am I going to have to endure? She just keeps rolling right along. My short e-mail to her about sharing her-deaf ears. I just am so frustrated. Is she not scared? Does this not bother her? I feel like calling her family and telling them everything/showing them everything. I'm not going to do it, but I really feel like it.

[SoldierDad]

I don't feel in control anymore...

[SoldierDad]

Just got this from W: Whtever H im not having an affair beleive wht u want dont care

See, this is what I am talking about. What is this?

[SoldierDad]

Seriously, I feel the urge to show her something, so that she knows, I know. I feel like she still controls me/this. WTF??? I WONT tip my hand, but I feel like I SHOULD. It's like she doesn't believe that I know.

[Lotus]

Be careful. You are in an emotional state.

[SoldierDad]

I just want to know why I shouldn't tell her a little of what I know. I think she needs to know, that I know-does that even make any sense? It will at least get her to thinking. I dunno. This is driving me nuts that she is saying this stuff, like believe what you want.. I just don't get it. I need to calm down.

[Lotus]

Yes, she is lying. She is willing to go to great lengths to lie and get what she wants. Try not to take it personally. They all lie. Everyone of us has been lied to over and over again. It is the way it is. The important thing is for you to stay above the fray. This will all work out over time. But if she can get you to sink to her level and "wrestle with the pig" as Coach says, then it will be much worse.

[SoldierDad]

So,
just sit on the info, and let her think what she wants to think? I mean, soon the OM chain of command is gonna talk to him, but I just am not feeling like I was earlier today. What do I do with this info? How long do I hold onto it, before I reveal it? Just so many questions... So much I am thinking.

She's so freaking non-chalant about it all - "whatever, think what you want, I'm not having an affair"
You know the thing is, I would have thought she would have made more of an effort to see what I knew. But - nothing, just whatever you think...

[SoldierDad]

Ok,
Just to get up to speed here. This is what I have done so far:
1. Notified my chain of command, who is working to get in touch with OM chain.

2. Sent text to W, "W I will not share you with another man. If you do not stop this affair, I will do whatever it takes to protect myself and my boys". Response from W at 0500 this morning: Whtever H im not having an affair beleive wht u want dont care.

3. Learned that W has court date for a restraining order against me on 16 Dec at 1500.

4. Packed my stuff, cried, read my thread, cried some more, looked at PI report-cried, looked at pics from PI report-cried.

5. Want to send W something that shows her what I know, but have NOT done that.

Waiting to go to airport for my flight.

That's it in a nutshell-oh, and losing my mind a few times too.

[Coach]

Ok- she's lying and denying, which is normal for someone having a affair. You know the truth. How does that change things?

You don't give up your sources of intel. She knows you know now. You do have control of yourself. Get a lawyer, f/u with the cease contact order, love your boys, pray, exercise, and keep learning
how to cope and thrive. Rollercoasters change direction, speed and plane. It's what they do. You can close your eyes, tense up and be afraid or you can open your eyes, relax and take in the experience.

You got two weeks back home, be grateful for that. It's perfect timing. Go yell, hit a punching bag, wail, and get it out. It's OK. You can handle it.

Strength and Honor

Coach

ps Mules and I are coming down to see you have a couple beers then go get a "Strength and Honor" tattoo. You guys do have a tattoo parlor outside the post?